Ruminator

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography Memorial Day I was surprised with a party at my house in honor of my latest birthday.  It fell under the category of good intention.  My wife planned what I thought was a small get together at our house, yet it was a disguise, to celebrate my recent birthday.  Her intentions were noble and appreciated but I was not very happy about it. I have said in jest that my birthday has never counted since my son was born.  His birthday falls two days after mine.  I have said this jokingly but my wife took it to heart.  I have never been one that enjoys birthday celebrations, especially my own.  I do not judge others for having them; I just don’t see the point personally.  In my life, I was surprised at my 21 st , 40 th  and now my latest birthday.  I think for me it boils down to being the center of attention.  I do not like being a central focus, especially in front of a large group of people.  I have been asked at my employer multiple times throughout my caree...

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography I like what I like, and I hate what I hate.  I have made my decisions based on my experiences.  Today another one was confirmed for me. I have always been a fan of cooler weather.  Whether it be the cool crisp air of fall, the nippy icy feeling of winter, or the sweet breezes of early spring days, I have always felt my best and most comfortable in these cooler conditions.  I do not like heat.  Period. Today I decided to go hiking with a good friend and her dogs.  We planned to hit a trail at O’Bannon Woods State Park at 8 am and do a 3-4 mile hike.  The other goal was to get finished before the heat overwhelmed us (or at least me). I received a text at 7:05 am from Kristin stating she was on her way and wanted to beat the heat.  I consequently replied I’m leaving now and was in my car within 5 minutes.  As I traversed the winding country roads to my destination, I had the windows down.  The humid air, made cool by the motion of my car, helped get ...

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography Why do people see the same reality so differently?  This was a question a friend asked on Facebook the other day, and it got me thinking. Each of us has our own unique life experiences.  These experiences, both good, bad and indifferent, have made us the unique individual we are.  Our thoughts, emotions, feelings, and actions all come from those experiences.  I believe this is why we see different realities from others. Today I did two separate hikes at the same location.  What I mean is, I spent time hiking with some friends and then spent time alone after they left, to hike some more.  During the first part of my hike, this question above popped into my head as a result of a conversation I was having.  Today the temperature was in the 70’s, but it was very humid.  Being in the woods also blocked much of the wind and increased the humidity level.  My friend stated to me that this was the perfect weather for hiking.  Her reality.  My reality was simila...

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography I had not been hiking for a while and I needed it, so I went today.  My trip took me to the old faithful, Mt. St. Francis. I arrived in the parking lot not knowing what the morning would bring and began getting my gear together.  As I normally am here Sunday mornings today there were a few people I encountered before I entered the woods. I walked down the path toward the lake and saw a truck pulled off to the side.  I also noticed there was a small boat in the lake with an older couple attempting to fish.  I made my way toward a familiar path and crossed the wooden bridge turning right and seeing my favorite spot in the whole area.  Today was different.  The trees were in full bloom and I now had a visible canopy above and around me.  Spring had sprung, and I could see it and smell it.  I was greeted along the trail by frogs so anxiously jumping into the water and then my eye caught something swimming only inches from me.  It was a baby copperhead.  As...

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography My insecurities are holding me back and preventing me from being who I want to be.  I will probably never overcome them but I am going to try.  I need to try this to lessen the battle that rages inside my mind and heart. I have always perceived myself more a bit different than others.  I think that is common for most people, but I can only speak on my behalf.  The choices I make, the things I like, and what I believe in do not fit the mold of ‘normal’ for most people. First, let me begin with a socially acceptable practice and a hidden practice that most people do.  In both cases I am not judging, just providing my point of view and why I don’t do these things.  Drinking alcohol is something I chose not to do at an early age.  Well before the legal age of 21, I had an experience that completely opened my eyes and terrified me at the same time.  I was maybe twelve years old and was going to a sleepover at a friend’s house when we got invited to a party ...

I just finished a film that touched me very deeply.  There were many similarities to my life.  It was one I will never forget. Kodachrome is a movie starring Ed Harris, one of my top three favorite actors. The movie was about a photographer Ben, played by Ed Harris, who had a strained relationship with his son and was diagnosed with liver cancer with only a short time to live.  His last wish was to drive across country to a town in Kansas to have four rolls of film developed that he recently found containing pictures he took decades before.  This photoshop is the last shop to develop Kodachrome film and they’re going to stop processing film in a few days.  He asked his son to come along.  The movie is about that journey. As I mentioned there are many similarities in this movie to my own life.  First I didn’t have the closest relationship with my father, though I love and respected him a lot.  Similarly, I do not have a close one with my son.  In my mind, I know my son loves me, but I f...

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography Yesterday I had lunch with one of my oldest and dearest friends.  Oldest not in age (he is three years younger than me), but oldest in the tenure of our relationship.  It was something I needed. I had a day off and tried to schedule a lunch with my friend.  He was off as well and gladly obliged my request.  We had planned on meeting at Panera at noon.  As I drove that way I received a call from him asking if I had been to Cunningham’s Creekside Café, which I had not, but agreed to meet there. I arrived early (a norm for me), pulled into a parking spot and text him I was there.  He responded that he will be there in a few and I took the time to think about our past relationship as I sat in my car with the windows down and the breeze blowing so soothingly through my car windows.  I could hear geese and ducks off in the distance of the creek and watched as customers came and went from the café.  I even watched a worker push a cart full of boxes across the...

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography I believe there are three main types of personalities.  There are positive personalities, negative personalities, and realists.  I fall into the latter category but am often mislabeled as a negative personality. I know people who go through life with blinders on only looking at things positively.  I also know those that do the opposite and focus on all the negative aspects of the world.  Then there are people like me who look for the positive aspects but know and prepare for those negative things in life that are inevitable. I think those that are driven by a negative personality and those driven by a positive personality are living their life, not only in a false reality but setting themselves up for failure.  As mentioned I am often seen as a negative person.  My wife often accuses me of this.  What she fails to realize as I am a natural planner, I prepare for those stresses or negative things that I know will occur.  The difference for me is I do no...