Skip to main content

Kodachrome.

I just finished a film that touched me very deeply.  There were many similarities to my life.  It was one I will never forget.

Kodachrome is a movie starring Ed Harris, one of my top three favorite actors. The movie was about a photographer Ben, played by Ed Harris, who had a strained relationship with his son and was diagnosed with liver cancer with only a short time to live.  His last wish was to drive across country to a town in Kansas to have four rolls of film developed that he recently found containing pictures he took decades before.  This photoshop is the last shop to develop Kodachrome film and they’re going to stop processing film in a few days.  He asked his son to come along.  The movie is about that journey.

As I mentioned there are many similarities in this movie to my own life.  First I didn’t have the closest relationship with my father, though I love and respected him a lot.  Similarly, I do not have a close one with my son.  In my mind, I know my son loves me, but I fear he sees me as Ed Harris sons did throughout most of the movie. Often him perceiving me as a ‘prick’ or ‘jerk’, and definitely as one who does not care for him.  All of these, of course, is furthest from the truth. The main thing that struck a chord with me is cancer.  I watched my father, a giant of a man, whittle away to skin and bones in 6 months after being diagnosed with cancer.  My dad looked scarily similar to how Ed looked in the movie in my dad’s final days on this earth.  I miss my dad!

The other aspect of this movie that struck a chord with me was the obvious aspects of photography.  “We’re all frightened by time.  The way it moves on and the way things disappear.  That’s why we’re photographers.  We’re preservationists by nature.  We take pictures to stop time.  To commit moments to eternity.  Human nature made tangible.”  That was a powerful line in the movie Kodachrome, which hit a nerve with me.  As I mentioned in one of my first blogs, I have a superpower.  One where I can freeze time.  I guess it was validated in this movie.

My recent internal debate on whether to print my work or not and even worse to sell it continues to go on.  The main character in this movie pointed out that everyone these days takes pictures.  More pictures are being taken today than throughout time, but as he put it, today’s pictures are all just data.  Rarely do people print their pictures out, nor frame them, nor sell or even pass them on to others in physical form.  I plan to change my thinking about my work.  Though my wife may not like it, I plan to print a few shots each year of my ‘best’ work and display them in my house.  I will also be less apprehensive to print and sell some of my work for others if they are interested.  We all have a legacy to leave, maybe this will be mine.  Hopefully, my son will also someday enjoy and appreciate my superpower.

I highly recommend if you get a chance to watch Kodachrome, do so.  It is a powerful and emotional movie, one I will not long forget.  My son had already seen it and commented “it’s a good movie”, I just hope the message got through to him. I also hope that someday he and I can become close, something I never got the chance to do with my dad.  Cancer sucks.

Until next time,

Tim

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Love to get your feedback on what you read!

Popular posts from this blog

25 years

  How do I put love into words? Especially after 25 years of marriage, two children, a few dogs, and various moves we have made both with jobs and homes. How do I explain how someone is in my daily thoughts, and every decision I make takes her into account? I have seen her grow into an exceptional mother, loving and understand wife, and beautiful human being. She is the reason I am still here on earth. Dearest Marcie, Twenty-five years. A quarter of a century. It feels like yesterday we stood at the altar, our hearts brimming with hope and anticipation. And yet, as I look back on these years, I am filled with a profound sense of gratitude and love. You have been my constant, my rock, my guiding star. Your love has been a beacon of light, illuminating my path even in the darkest of times. Our home is alive with the melody of your laughter, bringing boundless joy, while your kindness ignites a warmth within my very being. I cherish the memories we've made together - the adv...
Post a Comment
Read more

Good Enough?

  This past week Dr. Erin and I discussed many things. She did, however spring a new term on me. Social Attribution Error. It is something I suffer from, without knowing the term and we dove a little deeper into it and what I could do to reverse it. Social Attribution Error has many aspects but a few I want to point out. Explaining behavior : It's the process of trying to understand why someone acted a certain way by assigning a cause to their behavior.  Internal vs. external attribution : You can attribute behavior to internal factors (like personality traits) or external factors (like situational circumstances). With a bit of conversation Erin and I discussed my strong and irrational internal attribution and how I always see myself as not good enough. Not a good enough father, husband, friend, employee, relative, writer, photographer, etc. Much of this started in my childhood when my mother would compare me to my classmates, friends and even cousins...
Post a Comment
Read more

A gift from a friend

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography Recently I received a gift from a friend.  It was unexpected but it meant so much.  A simple gesture, an act of kindness, a show of love and friendship. I met Miranda via Instagram based on a recommendation from my buddy Mark.  Like most things, he recommends I seriously consider and highly respect his suggestions.  This was true to form.  I began following Miranda on Instagram, Facebook and even viewing her website.  I stuck up a few online conversations and got the nerve to ask her for an interview.  I wrote about that here . Eventually, text and online correspondence led to a few phone calls.  I admired her work and even discussed creating a book of my own and she admitted wanting to do one as well.  Specifically, I saw two pictures that I loved.  My passion for nature, especially trees is well known.  When I saw this photo (single tree) I was floored.  I even asked her if I could buy a copy.  Nothing really came of that.  I then saw another photo ...
Post a Comment
Read more