Ruminator

At the time this post is released my wife and son will be boarding a plane headed to Florida before boarding a cruise ship for a week-long adventure to the Bahamas.  While they are gone I will be filled with mixed emotions. This is my son’s first cruise, and he and Marcie will be joined by my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, brother-in-law, and his two kids.  I will be home taking care of the dog.  My father-in-law is doing the same, and working like me.  I am driving them to the airport Sunday morning and picking them back up the following Sunday.  So why the mixed emotions? I began my swimming career when I was 7 years old.  I took swim lessons and eventually joined a swim team.  For the next 11 years, I swam competitively and I became good at it.  I eventually ranked one of the best in the state in the 50 freestyle (think of it as the 100-meter dash in track) and also for the 100 backstrokes.  So what does this have to do with a cruise? One major aspect of a cruise has always been...

Kristin is someone I met in March of 2014 when I became her Supervisor.  We bonded almost immediately and I have tried to do with most people that reported to me, I helped her evaluate her position in the company.  I nudged her to explore the other options out there within the company and she found another more satisfying role within 3 months that she still has today. We kept in touch and eventually learned we had some things in common.  We both loved nature, liked to hike and I even introduced her to geocaching and gave her tips in photography.  Over the years on hikes, we got to know each other much better (read some older posts), and we learned about some deeper intimate things about our pasts and struggles. The last year to year and a half things began to change.  I continued to hike, but at the same location or locations every time, while she “got bored” with those places and wanted to explore other areas and parks.  I would invite her when I went but in most cases, she either had...

As mentioned in my last post I plan to write at least a small series on a few friends who I have known for a while and recently our relationships have changed. This is from my internal perspective and my analysis of our relationship. I was contacted by Bob on September 6th, 2019 sometime in the morning via IM at work. He asked if I had a few minutes for a phone call which I gladly did. That phone call both made me excited, happy, jealous and sad. I met Bob a few years ago at Humana. He also knows my wife, as she worked for him for a short time at Humana. At the time we met he was an auditor and my boss asked me to work with him on something and answer all his questions. Through those initial conversations, our relationship grew and we began talking and socializing outside of work. I found out he is a day younger than me, we shared a similar love of sports (we all have faults, he is an Ohio State fan), and both had a passion for music and hiking. I recently also found out he also now is...

In today’s post, I want to talk about two mental flaws that I was made aware of recently that have known to be the cause of most of my anxiety. First, one is fear the second one is a loss. I want to start with a loss. I’ve written about this before but I wanted to bring it up again to bring a little context to why loss is so impactful on me. When I was a young child my uncle died, not long later my other uncle died, and not long after that, I lost my grandmother, followed by my grandfather and my other grandmother. It seemed like I was always in a funeral home, and I was attending a funeral. As a child, I couldn’t process death. Fast forward to adulthood and I’ve learned in my relationships to look for the best in people. If I find somebody I enjoy and want to spend time with I become deeply invested in them. Sometimes it was only a one-way investment. So when people leave me for various reasons then I get hurt and deeply feel that loss. As a person that is a natural thinker and proces...

Part 3 Week 4+   Dawn of the Dead – In 2004 my mind was changed about zombies.  Like 28 Days Later as mentioned above, zombies now ran and were fast.  Before like in the Night of The Living Dead they moved slow and were at most in small groups.  This all changed with this film.  I was scared of zombies again.  The movie flows well, has some good actors in it and the blood is not overdone.  For me, the opening scene with the young kid entering the bedroom is one of my favorite all-time scenes. World War Z – First I am a fan of Brad Pitt.  I loved him in Fight Club, Kalifornia, and Legends of the Fall.  I was skeptical however about this movie until I watched it.  I loved that the zombies are still fast, that they kinda think, but most importantly there are elements of running and fighting, but also slow and silent parts in this film.  Brad did a great job as the hero, and the ending left me wanting more.  The scene with him in the freezer when he let the zombie in was just awesome...

Part 2 Week 3 The Devil’s Rejects – Ah the mind of Rob Zombie.  Is he demented?  Is he creative?  Who knows?  This is another gory film but one that I am fascinated by.  I am intrigued by the thought of people or families out there that possibly capture and torture people.  What and why would they do that? This is the theme of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre as well as the House of 1000 Corpses (Another Rob Zombie film).  I cannot say I enjoy this as much as I am amazed that this could and might happen.  Zombie’s movies always creep me out but this is his best film. 13 Ghosts – This 2001 release may have missed most of you reading this post, but again it is one I recommend.  It is the story of a family who inherits a house and money from an estranged uncle.  They find out once trapped in the house that there are 13 ghosts warded and trapped in the house (basement).  The ghosts are released and the family must survive them.  Great movie, great storyline and great effects. Aliens – Most p...

I have never met Miranda in person but have corresponded with her via Facebook messenger and one phone call. I am drawn to her work, and like most new photographers I encounter, stumble across them or find them based on a friend’s recommendation. Mark messaged me one day and said check out Miranda’s work. “We have been chatting online and I feel I know her through her work. You would like it.” As I trust Mark I took his word and was indeed impressed. I, in turn, ended up corresponding as well with her which eventually led to me asking her to do this questionnaire. She is also a blogger that I can identify with. So the question is why did I ask her to answer and why do I follow her? First, her photos are mostly monochrome which I adore. Next, she has a similar style of shooting to what I do. She travels and sees the country. Finally, for me, she posts about almost every picture. The why what, where and how she decided upon the particular shot. I am planning a trip in early November and ...

Part 1 Week 2 Halloween (2007) – I know I might get some blowback from this, but like the Friday the 13 th series, I also enjoy the Halloween series. It had some duds (Season of the Witch), but overall the 111 kills Michael Myers has committed lends itself to some good films. The reason I picked this version as my favorite is partly because of the vision Rob Zombie brings to it. The kid playing Michael is creepy and the 6’8″ Michael (played by Tyler Mane) is formidable on screen. I met the man once and he is huge. So I like it because of the creepy kid (Daeg Faerch), creepy adult (Tyler Mane) and of course no Rob Zombie movie would be complete without his lovely wife Sheri Moon Zombie as Michael’s mother. To me, this version is the best of the series with no disrespect to the first one. A Nightmare on Elm Street – The original movie came out in 1984 and I saw it that same year. This is one of my favorite movies but the series (other than Freddy vs. Jason) was a disappoint...

In the spirit of Halloween, I have decided to list out the top 31 movies that I enjoy under the Horror/Thriller genre. Since Halloween has 31 days, there is a movie per day you can watch for the entire month of October. I started with ten but found that it was too limiting for me, so it slowly expanded to thirty-one. When most people hear horror/thriller they automatically think scary movies. Scary for each person is different. I have only had one movie truly scare me and to this day I still cannot watch it. It is The Exorcist. That voice, and the fact that demonic possession can happen, plus the fact I watched it when I was young, it still impacts me today. I also want to point out that I am not a fan of torture or even pure gore movies (yes there are some on here), unless I deem the story-worthy. Movies like Hostel or the Human Centipede just are for gore and have no thrill factor or interest for me. I have some movies on here that may fall more into the Sci-Fi field but can also cro...

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography Today I was conversing with a friend and got a swift dose of reality.  It cut deep but I realized it was the complete and honest truth and I needed to hear it.  Now the challenge of continuing down the same path that was pointed out today or make a change for better or possibly worse? My pet peeve has always been if you ask me for advice then argue with my answer, why even bother?  It was pointed out to me today that I do this very thing.  More importantly, I lead the conversation to the negative aspects I perceive might happen.  I always knew that I was negative and it is confirmed quite often when I talk to people, but today this friend pointed out that they cannot give me advice because “I just hate that no matter what I say, you just stay miserable.  To not have you accept any advice at all is very frustrating”.  I truly have become what I hate. So why do I do this?  I do not know for sure but I think it stems from growing up the way I d...