Bob

As mentioned in my last post I plan to write at least a small series on a few friends who I have known for a while and recently our relationships have changed. This is from my internal perspective and my analysis of our relationship.

I was contacted by Bob on September 6th, 2019 sometime in the morning via IM at work. He asked if I had a few minutes for a phone call which I gladly did. That phone call both made me excited, happy, jealous and sad.

I met Bob a few years ago at Humana. He also knows my wife, as she worked for him for a short time at Humana. At the time we met he was an auditor and my boss asked me to work with him on something and answer all his questions.

Through those initial conversations, our relationship grew and we began talking and socializing outside of work. I found out he is a day younger than me, we shared a similar love of sports (we all have faults, he is an Ohio State fan), and both had a passion for music and hiking. I recently also found out he also now is into photography. We talked often and even had a regular card game at my house monthly for a while. Our last card game I recall did not end well. Not being strong at cards, especially Poker, I had a hand that I knew was a true winner (straight). Everyone at the table had folded except me and Bob. Raises kept going until I thought I had called and laid down my hand. I was mistaken, Bob still had another turn. I could tell he was aggravated, and that move ended the long night of card playing. We always played for pocket change, so the money was not the issue. I feel he was aggravated by my lack of knowledge. That was our last night of cards. Our relationship remained cordial, and over-time as our careers grew at Humana we drifted apart. We generally had an annual call or occasional IM. So when he reached out to me on September 6^th I was curious.

He began by saying “my last day at Humana is Friday the 13^th”. He explained that he had been there 17 years, and decided he had not liked who he had become mainly due to the pressure of the job. The job changed him, and he decided it was time to leave. He is planning on doing something I have been trying for years. He wants to find himself again.

In April of this year, he took a month off and went to the Grand Tetons and Yellowstone. He hiked, stayed in a cabin, took pictures and explored all on his own. Did I mention jealous? On this trip is where he made up his mind to travel. Bob is in a unique situation that he pointed out to me. He has no debt. The mortgage has been paid off for a long time, no credit card debt, no car loan, no student loan. “I’m debt-free.” He has also worked hard to amass a large saving which allows him to do this. His goal is to travel for a year. He stated “I am not sure what happens and when. If I need to work part-time or full-time down the line I will.” He then dropped the knowledge on me. “Once you lose your fear, then you will start living.”

That hit me hard. Marcie and I have been planning for financial freedom and here Bob has done it. Bob had one week left, and I was suddenly thinking of the 16 years I had left and if my mind and body would even make it. His situation is different than my own. Would I give up Marcie or Gavin to have what he does? No! Am I jealous that he has worked hard to put himself in this situation? Yes! Am I proud and excited for him to follow his passion? Yes!

Bob has taken steps to get here. He has been smart about it, he has planned and he will see the reward that comes from all of his hard work. I have mixed emotions. We rarely spoke in the past few years, so my fear and mind wonder how often we will be in touch. I am, however, so genuinely excited and happy for him. I hope he finds himself and finds the passion that he has lost over the last 7 years of his career. I am also sad. I know he is only a phone call/text away, but part of me wonders if we will continue to communicate more or less going forward. Bob is a special friend that I hope to know for years to come. I wish him all the best.

Until next time

Tim