It's All In Your Head: 2nd Dose Edition

Drawing by: Shawn Coss

I have well-documented my mental health journey. Through counseling and my research, I am trying to learn what makes me tick. This has been and will be a lifelong journey. Part of that research leads me to purchasing a book. The book is called It’s All In Your Head: 2^nd Dose Edition, and it is by Shawn Coss.

I stumbled upon this book through a social media page, and what initially struck me and drove me to purchase the book were two things. First were the illustrations by Shawn in the book and next, how he laid out the book. According to the book, Shawn has depression, anxiety, and many other things I also suffer from. I quickly learned this book is something I can relate to.

The layout of his book is simple. On the left-hand page, he has a drawing depicting the disorder or phobia. On the right-side, he has a disorder or phobia. Shawn typically gives his own account of how he addresses that topic, using a concise description based on the disorder’s technical definition.

When I first discovered his work, the initial picture and words shown above struck a chord with me. “The worst kind of sad is not being able to explain why.” Shawn explains in his book on the opposite page from his drawing “Sometimes the worst kind of sadness is the kind you can’t explain. It’s something lots of us deal with in our battles with depression. When the sun is shining, friends and family are nearby, nothing should bring us down. Yet here we are with a smile on our face and drowning in sadness.” This is something I can easily identify with and happens to me often.

Once I received a signed copy of Shawn Coss’ book, I dove into it like a child on Christmas morning. His artwork, technical definitions and personal comments fueled my desire to learn more and try to understand many of the same things I experience or have felt for most of my life. As Dr. Erin has helped me through my journey, this would also provide me with a bit of a map or guidebook.

I knew this was the right purchase for me when ¾ of the way through the book; I turned to a page that had a woman in a dress holding an umbrella. Her mouth is illuminated, but the rest of her face, under the umbrella, is covered in darkness other than her white eyes. Above her reads “I Find Comfort in My Darkness.” Shawn’s explanation of his drawing is very appealing and relatable to me. Shawn even references his love for horror movies. Something again I can certainly identify with. Buy his book to read his explanation!

I know this is not a bright and chipper post, and I do not mean it to be. Every one of us battles demons and has mental health issues. Some deal with them better than others. Shawn has found an outlet for drawing. I have found an outlet for photography and hiking. I hope EVERYONE can find a safe outlet for themselves.

I have a dear friend that has a daughter who deals with many of the anxieties I have. I talked to my friend about these experiences and helped her understand her daughter’s feelings during certain difficult times. For example, during panic attacks, we both might need a hug for comfort or have the intense need for everyone to stay clear as we navigate through the terror. Think of it like a seizure. During a panic attack, we must ride it out and hope we can survive it.

Upon discussing this book with my friend, I mentioned the pages I referenced above with her. Her initial comment to me was, “Those images remind me so much of my daughter who just cannot explain why she is so sad.” One of the worst things is to see a loved one suffering and you cannot do ANYTHING about it. Especially our own child.

The next morning, my friend sent me a quote that will now be forever etched in my journal by Lola Lawrence “the ugly, dark parts of you have a right to exist. a need to be heard. even they deserve love. this is how we become whole again.” Life is filled with good and bad. Holiness and evil. Angels and demons. I have all these living in my head. There is a constant battle daily between them for my attention. For a piece of my soul. I am the battlefield that deals with the outcome of their wars inside my head.

Until next time,

Tim

Links:

Please check out Shawn Coss’ website and order his book, prints, t-shirts, hats, stickers, or anything that may help you or a loved one deal with mental health.

Book – It’s All In Your Head: 2nd Dose Edition

Prints – https://anymeansnecessary.com/collections/prints

Website – https://anymeansnecessary.com/

P.S. Thanks Shawn for permission to use the drawing above.