Conformity !

Photo by: Tim Bindner

In today’s post, I want to discuss something that has been on my mind for quite a while. I don’t have any solutions, but often just voicing my thoughts helps me be a little more at ease.

Conformity is something we all must do. It is put on us by work, society, the government, family, loved ones and even friends. Sometimes it is easy to recognize, other times it is so hidden or repeated we don’t even realize it.

Marcie and I were driving home yesterday through New Albany, Indiana, and we saw a motorcycle in front of us. First, let me say I was not being judgmental of this guy, but I pointed out some things that were obvious, or maybe not so much to my wife.

This guy was in his 30’s I’d say. He was riding a Harley, wearing faded blue jeans and old cowboy boots (black, of course), and had a t-shirt on with his motorcycle club name and a logo with some sort of assault rifle on it. He had a black baseball cap on backwards with a flat bill on it. He also adjusted his t-shirt and Marcie said, “he has a gun tucked under his shirt.” I turned down my radio and yes, he had country music playing. Not the classic stuff, but the current stuff. I thought in my mind that it would be country, or 80 hair band music, and I was right.

I looked over at Marcie and said, “he checks off all the boxes.” I do not know why as children we are taught and told to be individuals. To “be or do” ANYTHING you want, but as we age, those ideas and dreams are squashed?

Children dream of things with no reasoning or restraints other than the limits of their imagination. Kids want to be firefighters, astronauts, work in a circus, forest rangers, heck, even unicorns. But quickly those dreams are killed. Whether it is parents, teachers, society, government or even friends that tell kids ‘that is not realistic, or in my case that is stupid.’

We grow up, and instead of becoming individuals, we conform. Now for a bit of judgement. We drive Harleys; we go to Starbucks; we must have the latest iPhone; we drive fancy cars (BMW, Lexus, Porsche, Volvo, etc), we wear certain clothes; we follow a certain ideology based on politics or what society deems as good. People follow diet trends, do the latest workout trends, buy the latest style of clothing, and follow certain artist/actors/politicians, because it is trendy. Everyone has an opinion (and forcefully shares it) on the flavor of the month in the news (gun control, abortion, BLM, train derailment, etc.)

As I get older, I care less about what others think of me. I wear what I want, do mostly what I want, and often go against the trends of society. Maybe it is an attempt to be an individual or get out from underneath the pressures I had growing up with a mom who forced certain beliefs, thoughts, and ideologies on me. Who knows?

I drove away from the biker today thinking, does this guy really love this image he has or is he likely conforming to a stereotype that is “cool” in his mind? Was he headed home to drink what I imagine was any variation of lite beer because that was cool?

Next time you buy something, take a moment to think why? Am I buying because of a trend or is it something I really like?

Let me end with a quote from one of my favorite poets. “Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?”–Charles Bukowski. Well, can you?

Until next time.

Tim