Oh, what a catastrophe!

Today I want to talk about trauma. Trauma goes in various forms. There is physical, spiritual, and even emotional trauma. These also fall into three types of traumas: being Acute, chronic, or Complex. Acute trauma results from a single incident. Chronic trauma is repeated and prolonged, such as domestic violence or abuse. Complex trauma is exposure to varied and multiple traumatic events, often of an invasive, interpersonal nature.

I have documented in these posts the trauma I have experienced in the past many times. I have even had sought counseling to work through these. For me, the lasting effects might never go away. What do these effects look like for me?

At any moment, I assume the worst possible thing will happen. This is called Catastrophizing. Why does this happen? It is because something traumatic happened to me and my brain stays on high alert to keep and/or prepare for something happening again.  

Next, I do a bit of mind reading or trying to predict what others around me are thinking. This is a survival technique used because of past traumatic events to prepare me for potential probable events to come and how I could avoid them.

Finally, over focusing on the negative and minimizing the positive. This is a thought pattern modeled for me by those I grew up with when I was younger, and my brain was easily influenced. Ask anyone who knows my family. The common joke is ‘Bindner’s are worriers.’ They are not wrong. Of the three, this is my worst struggle.

I have had times in my life when one or more of the issues has been almost debilitating. Through age and experience, I have learned to accept these and now understand the source of the trauma. Simple acts of decision making, going places with larger crowds and even travel I have struggled with.

Because of therapy and life experiences, I have learned to adjust and deal with my brain and perception of the world. Have I conquered these? No. Will I ever? No. But I can learn to recognize when these thoughts are occurring and through time and practice, lessen the impact they have on my daily life.

Until next time.

Tim (Kilmer)