Skip to main content

The truth is...

I’d rather tell you the truth and you think I am a jerk, then tell you a lie so you will like me. I don’t want anyone close to me to tell me what they think I want to hear unless it’s the truth.

We play this game with friends, coworkers, neighbors, and family members because we want them to all like us. This is selfish, not selfless. That is the lie!

People say or think I don’t want to hurt their feelings. Nope. Those people have no courage. They don’t want others to not like them. It’s not about them, it’s about you. You don’t want others not to like you. It hurts but lies are not genuine and they build weak foundations of relationships.

Priorities should be set and evaluated by everyone. For me liking used to be huge to me, but now it is not even in my top 3. I craved approval over everything else, even at the expense of my happiness. If you do like me, great, but that is not my primary goal any longer. Truth, love, freedom, then community (liking) are my priorities.

If we all told the truth, and not focused on having everyone like us, this world would be a better place. The truth hurts sometimes, but helps us grow. Living a lie, or even worse, not being aware of a lie, helps no one.

Don’t misinterpret what I am saying here. You can tactfully, and without emotion, tell the truth. The interpretation and reactions from the receiver is on them, not you. What they hear from you may hurt them. You may also learn a lot about that person on how they react.

Again, be tactful and divulge the truth, either when asked or only when necessary. We all run our mouths too much. Listen more, talk less, but tell the truth.

As I age, I learn that games, fake people, and lies are just a tremendous waste of time and energy. I plan to be more truthful with those I have frequent contact with. I may lose friends, I may tick people off, but for my soul, this is the right thing for me. Besides, if I lose people because of truth, then do I really need them in my life, anyway?

Until next time,

Tim (Kilmer)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Mentor

  When my photography journey rekindled back in 2015 with a trip to Maine, I never knew how far I would come and how important pushing a button on a camera would be. I have come a long way, but still have so much more to learn. A mentor is described as an experienced and trusted adviser (noun) . Also, as someone who will advise or train (someone, especially a younger  colleague ) (verb). Wikipedia also states mentorship is the patronage, influence, guidance, or direction given by a mentor. A mentor is someone who teaches or gives help and advice to a less experienced and often younger person.  Since I have gotten more serious about my photography, I have been looking for a mentor that fits these categories listed above. Seeking guidance, I reached out to a handful of “professional” photographers to inquire about mentorship. I received no response from one person, another person casually mentioned that they rarely mentor, and a third person kindly explained that they ...

Nobody's Listening

  I recently had conversations with two people I know that had experienced a sudden rash of acute anxiety. One was medication related, the other was situational. Both stated that they now had a better understanding of what I have been dealing with. With the recent changes to my medication, Although I still feel anxiety, it no longer takes control of my emotions like it did in the past. However, I know acutely that it still lurks on the fringes, patiently awaiting its chance to pounce on me. During my recent visit to Dr. Erin, she assigned me an exercise where I had to jot down three things each day that I felt I excelled at. This is proving to be difficult for me. The parameters are straightforward and easy to understand. “Anything I do well that day,” she said. As I continued with this exercise, I began thinking of a song by Linkin Par called Nobody’s Listening. I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress Handful of anger held in my chest And everything left’s a wast...

Tested

  Life is a series of tests, pushing us to our limits and forcing us to grow. All blessings originate from a God, yet they manifest through different circumstances, encounters, and individuals. Throughout the past six weeks, I have encountered a myriad of these tests. This is part of the reason I have not written in a while - the constant distractions that have consumed my time and focus. Balancing my mental state and warding off anxiety has consumed my attention, leaving no room to articulate my thoughts through writing. My journey began recently when, with the advice of a medical professional, I began taking Trintellix at its lowest dose of 5mg per day. Gradually I increased to 10mg a day and now am at 20mg a day. During this time, my anxiety has lessened quite a bit, but recent events have put this medication to the test. Our initial challenge was to carefully research vans, searching for ones that would be ideal for safely transporting our furry companions. The cramped spac...