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The truth is...

I’d rather tell you the truth and you think I am a jerk, then tell you a lie so you will like me. I don’t want anyone close to me to tell me what they think I want to hear unless it’s the truth.

We play this game with friends, coworkers, neighbors, and family members because we want them to all like us. This is selfish, not selfless. That is the lie!

People say or think I don’t want to hurt their feelings. Nope. Those people have no courage. They don’t want others to not like them. It’s not about them, it’s about you. You don’t want others not to like you. It hurts but lies are not genuine and they build weak foundations of relationships.

Priorities should be set and evaluated by everyone. For me liking used to be huge to me, but now it is not even in my top 3. I craved approval over everything else, even at the expense of my happiness. If you do like me, great, but that is not my primary goal any longer. Truth, love, freedom, then community (liking) are my priorities.

If we all told the truth, and not focused on having everyone like us, this world would be a better place. The truth hurts sometimes, but helps us grow. Living a lie, or even worse, not being aware of a lie, helps no one.

Don’t misinterpret what I am saying here. You can tactfully, and without emotion, tell the truth. The interpretation and reactions from the receiver is on them, not you. What they hear from you may hurt them. You may also learn a lot about that person on how they react.

Again, be tactful and divulge the truth, either when asked or only when necessary. We all run our mouths too much. Listen more, talk less, but tell the truth.

As I age, I learn that games, fake people, and lies are just a tremendous waste of time and energy. I plan to be more truthful with those I have frequent contact with. I may lose friends, I may tick people off, but for my soul, this is the right thing for me. Besides, if I lose people because of truth, then do I really need them in my life, anyway?

Until next time,

Tim (Kilmer)

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