Metacognition

Photo by: Tim Bindner

I met with my Psychologist last Friday and we discussed many things bouncing around in my head. She dropped a clinical term on me I had never heard, so we discussed it and, of course, I researched it after we met.

I have learned over my 53+ years on this earth that I almost observe everything. My brain then goes through analyzing the situation, putting myself in the situation and after the analysis I come up with many possible and various outcomes based on putting myself in that specific situation.

This happens when friends are telling me something they are dealing with, stories within podcasts I listen to, stories I hear or read, and even scenarios in movies/videos I watch. This came to light recently when Marcie and I were watching a wonderful series on YouTube and I asked her after one episode finished what she thought of the episode. Her response was “no thoughts”. This floored me.

I have heard of people who can mindlessly watch a TV show, movies, or videos, but I am not one of those people. My brain does not allow it. I always put myself in the situation of someone in the story and process how I would deal with it myself. I have been doing this all my life.

Mystery movies, horror movies and thrillers are my favorites. In all cases there are situations (usually problematic) and then throughout the show/movie there is a solution or survival aspect. Again, I put myself in the situation in my mind and figure out what I would do. With mysteries, I almost always figure out the solution (and a few others) before the story is over.

Metacognition is an awareness of one’s thought processes and an understanding of the patterns behind them. Metacognition refers to the knowledge and regulation of one’s own cognitive processes, which have been regarded as a critical component of creative thinking.

As we were discussing this, Dr. Erin pointed to her temple with a slight grin on her face as she looked directly into my eyes and said that recognizing my thought process means I am “smart”. “You are very intelligent. I knew this already, but this awareness shows it.”

My concern and question to her, in our latest session, is why does my mind never rest? Why am I always thinking, processing, and working things out? Why does every decision take so much brain power to process for me? She said there is no proper answer for that, but she offered a suggestion to help occupy my mind.

I am now journaling. I hope to make this a daily habit and hope that those random thoughts or ideas that float in and out of my brain like a changing ocean tide will lessen.

Of course, I researched how to journal. What type of notebook is best, pen is best, paper is best, and the hardest part, what to write? Erin and YouTube both gave me little direction, other than this. The whole point of a journal is there are no rules. There were no checks on the spelling of the words. There are no specific topics. No style. No length. Nothing is off limits. “It is your journal. Write what and how much you want.” This both frightens me and excites me.

Today is day 3 of my journal. So far, the entries are not long, but I am enjoying the process. It is too early to say if this will help me, but I felt it is a wonderful exercise, and might even help me produce more topics for my blogs.

I found out Erin and Mark have done journaling before, and one of my favorite creatives, Dan Milnor done these as well (continuous since 1993). I have taken on this challenge now myself. With practice, I will get better at this.

“The creative mind is restless.”–Rishi Kapoor. I know I have to be careful because there is something self-destructive within me. Within this restless mind.

Until next time,

Tim (Kilmer)