Part 1 - Substance Abuse

This week has been very challenging for me. I am not writing this to receive pity. In fact, I actually hate pity. It is more of an exercise to process what is going on and how my brain deals with it.

Over the weekend, I had lunch with a dear and lifelong friend. We shared some positive conversation, but much of it dealt with his current mood and situation. He is currently dealing with a daughter and wife who are battling substance abuse (both deny it) and he has a close family member who died when he was in his twenties of the same substance abuse.

I watched him and listened to him and saw the pain in his eyes. If this had been 5 or more years ago, I would have jumped in and gave him advice, but I have learned not to do that anymore. Nothing he has done but what have others have done with my advice in the past.

As he is telling me his situation, my brain runs through all the scenarios I think he is going through and begins solving them in my mind. I don’t share this with him, but in fact take the problem on myself as if it was happening to me.

We finished our lunch, shared a hug and “love you bud” and off I went. I came home later and received a text from him that reads in part “I always knew in my heart that no matter what, if I needed you would be there for me.” He pointed out, “I always have known you are a true friend that loves me unconditionally.”

The rest of the text is private but weighed heavy on my heart.

Stay tuned for the next two things that also impacted me this week in the next two posts.

Until next time,

Tim (Kilmer)

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