Over Think?

Photo by: Mark Wilcoxson

Last Friday I met with my Psychologist and as usual we had a great conversation about what things were troubling me as well as the things that were going great. One such topic I plan to discuss here.

After a very emotional week for me, I discussed the three main impacts this past week held for me. While discussing the details with her, I mentioned two specific conversations I had recently. I was told by some “friends” that I am an over thinker.

During our conversation, I provided the detail and the label I was given. She disagreed with that statement and diagnosis. As she described it (or I interpreted it) an over thinker is someone who harbors on a subject to where it affects them so much that it debilitates them. They will focus on a particular subject or issue and that exercise will affect other areas of their life. They may change their behavior, actions or lives because of it.

She said if anything I ruminate. The definition of ruminate is ‘think deeply about something’. If you know me at all, you know I ask questions. Lots of questions. This may be interpreted as being nosey or meddling in someone’s business, but I have no secret agenda when I do this. My sole purpose in asking questions is for understanding. I want to get all the facts so that I can understand the circumstances and provide feedback if needed.

I take everything in, analyze it and then decide based on the facts I have. I ask questions then ‘think deeply about something’ before I answer/decide. My communication is best done face to face, as my written communication (via text, IM or social media) is often lacking enough details for many or my primary intent is misconstrued.

I know a few people (will remain nameless), and see all the time on social media and with certain family members, that do not have filters or think before they speak. I have witnessed countless times people speaking their minds with disregard for the outcome or even processing the thought before it passes their lips. Someone who over thinks, or in my case, ruminates, does the opposite of this. I get the facts, process it and then (hopefully) give an intelligent response based on my interpretation of the subject/situation.

Another friend told me recently that “words are powerful”. It was not in this context but applies I believe. Saying the first thing that pops into one’s head can be very dangerous. I don’t do that, and cannot control others that do.

I’m sure some of you are thinking this is post is a perfect example of over thinking. It is not. I was ruminating on the subject. I worked it out with Dr. Erin and in this post. This is my logical and analyzed response to the label I was given.

Like I approach my photography (picture of me above). I look, I analyze, then I decide and shoot. That is how I now approach life.

I will try to limit my questions, think about the receiver when I provide information to them and be more mindful (not over think) when communicating with others. Especially via written statements.

Until next time,

Tim (Kilmer)