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Shoulda

Photo by: Tim Bindner

I recently listened to a photography podcast, wherein the host interviewed a celebrity photographer.  I’m not here to talk about that podcast or photographer, but a message I got from the podcast that resonated with me deeply.

The message was simple.  Don’t follow the ‘SHOULDA’s’.  It bases the message on what you should and should not do when photographing, but I am discussing this a bit deeper, at least pertaining to my life.   The quote from the interview states “If they come up with a rule that you SHOULD do it.  Great.  Let’s break that rule tomorrow”.–Bjoern Kommerell.

I have already documented the fact that growing up I was told how to act, speak, dress, believe, behave, think and even feel.  I have also written about my teenage years and how I questioned all of this guidance I was given, or that was forced upon me.  The older I get, the more I question it, and now question almost everything.

My parents, my friends, the media, neighbors, social media, even stranger’s voice their opinions on how I ‘should’ do something.   I have been told, for example, I need to buy stuff.  Nothing specific, just own a lot of stuff, like it will increase my social status or something.  I have been told I should charge things to a credit card, or get a loan for a car, house, boat, vacation, or whatever.  I have been told my photography was great and needed to be entered into contests.  I have been told I am a talented writer and need to write a book.  They have pressured me to think a good time involves alcohol or sometimes drugs.  In this area college basketball is a top priority and choosing a side (University of Louisville or Kentucky) determines you “intelligence”.   Influence to love Florida and sandy beaches outweighs my genuine love of colder climates and the mountains.  Even getting a college degree raised my status of being smart.  College is no guarantee of intelligence.

Like I stated, I question things.  Almost everything.    I don’t do this to be difficult or to invoke a fight; I do this for me.   I don’t accept others “word” on things, I must investigate, and decide on my own.  I simply do this for my education.  I like what I like, I do what I want, and I think, feel, and act the way I want.  My career is my own, not what other tell me I should do.  I drive what I want, live where I want, watch and listen to what I want, and my political views are my own.

I have my reasons for not drinking alcohol, or doing drugs.  I have my reasons for not like college basketball, but instead following ice hockey, soccer, the NBA and NFL.  I love the fact that I have a $0 credit card balance, and that I plan to pay off my house in 2021.  I am happy with my job title at work and never feel the pressure to impress others or chase after titles.  I love the idea of vacationing in Wyoming or North Carolina over Florida, New York City or California.

So I am challenging the “shoudas”, likely at the expense of losing friends.  My peace of mind is the most important thing.  I am happy to bring others along, or simply take this journey alone.  I am Tim.  Good or bad, this is me.

Until next time,

Tim (Kilmer)

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