Skip to main content

Steve Arnold - R.I.P.

Steve Arnold

Today my heart is breaking as a lifelong friend will take his last breath (at 1:42pm) and be leaving this world.  My friend, Steve, will be removed from his ventilator today after a long battle with heart problems.

I wrote about Steve not so long ago in my series of interviewing various photographers.  You can read that here.

As mentioned in the link above Steve and I have been friends since our freshman year in high school in 1982.  We were inseparable throughout high school.  We stayed at each other’s houses, hung out at the mall, went to high school football games together, attended high school mixers and even went skating a few times.  Steve worked at a local movie theater and would sneak me in often.  I would find myself with a free popcorn and soda, and saw many of my favorite movies like Friday the 13th before the age of 18.

Steve had a daughter and got married at age 18, and soon after moved to Florida.  We lost touch for a long time, but soon again connected over our similar love of photography.  Steve and I shoot different subjects but he was always picking my brain and asking for advice on how to get better, how I did this or that and what settings I used.  Steve shot wildlife (mainly birds) and his grandkids as they often went to Disney (annual pass holders).   Regardless, we often communicated via text and an occasional phone call.

Steve and I ‘discussed’ family life, finances, my Mom’s recent death, and he was always curious about my vacations or upcoming vacations.  One of his last text to me when he was in the hospital was “I am looking forward to your Wyoming trip, how you plan it and the pictures you will take.”    He was one of my loyal followers on this blog.  He read them all and often commented on each one.  I don’t have many people that have read them all, but Steve did.

Steve was on the heart transplant list and as he mentioned this past March, “I outlived my life expectancy.”  He hoped to get a new heart and one day go hiking with me.  That he will never do physically, but I now will take him with me every hike I do for the rest of my life.

As I am writing this Steve is still alive, but I am waiting for that text from his sister with “the news.”  I spoke to his daughter yesterday who told me “dad physically is still alive but his brain is not.  He is an organ donor, so the hospital is keeping him alive until tomorrow (today) so they can save his organs.”

I have lost my cousin Tom, my dad, my mom, all my grandparents, and most of my aunts and uncles, but this is the first close friend who is my age that has died.  My mortality is once again in question.  My brain knows I will die, but that idea or thought does not really hit home for me until now.

I will truly miss my friend.  My inner trust circle is getting smaller.  I have a few trusted confidants left such as Marcie, Shawn, Al and Mark, but Steve’s passing has and will hit me hard.  My heart is hurting and this will take some time to get over, or at least to heal from.

I will dedicate my trip to Wyoming next summer to Steve.  I will get those pictures for him, and I will think of him while I am there.

Pray for his daughter, his wife, his grandkids, his two sisters and his mother.  They all lost a good man today and we all will miss him.

I love you, buddy.  Rest in Peace!

Until next time,

Tim

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Love to get your feedback on what you read!

Popular posts from this blog

Nobody's Listening

  I recently had conversations with two people I know that had experienced a sudden rash of acute anxiety. One was medication related, the other was situational. Both stated that they now had a better understanding of what I have been dealing with. With the recent changes to my medication, Although I still feel anxiety, it no longer takes control of my emotions like it did in the past. However, I know acutely that it still lurks on the fringes, patiently awaiting its chance to pounce on me. During my recent visit to Dr. Erin, she assigned me an exercise where I had to jot down three things each day that I felt I excelled at. This is proving to be difficult for me. The parameters are straightforward and easy to understand. “Anything I do well that day,” she said. As I continued with this exercise, I began thinking of a song by Linkin Par called Nobody’s Listening. I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress Handful of anger held in my chest And everything left’s a wast...
Post a Comment
Read more

Rumination

  I've found myself stuck in a loop lately. It's like my mind is on a hamster wheel, endlessly circling the same thoughts. I can't seem to shake them. It's exhausting. I've been there. That place where thoughts loop around and around, like a broken record stuck on the same groove. It's like my mind is a haunted house, and these persistent thoughts are the ghosts haunting me. I'll be thinking about something, maybe a conversation I had earlier in the day, and then suddenly, I'm spiraling. I'm replaying every word, every gesture, analyzing every detail. It's like a broken record, playing the same tune repeatedly. It's not just conversations, either. I can ruminate about my to-do list, my relationships, or even the weather. It's as if my brain is determined to find a problem, no matter how small. Rumination, as it's called, can be a real drain. It's like trying to go against the flow of a strong current. No matter how hard I ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Waiting for the End to Come

  I have been in a funk lately. I am adjusting to my anxiety medicine, and I feel it is working, but maybe too well. Last week I met with Dr. Erin. She, of course, asked me how I was feeling and honestly, I told her I was not really feeling anything. We dug deeper, and she explained that my anxiety prior to the medicine was like a roller coaster. I had extreme highs and extreme lows. Now with the medicine it is more of a flatter track. I am not hitting the lows; Like I was before (which is good), but also not hitting the highs either. I feel like I am purely existing. Little desire to do much of anything. It’s true my passions are hiking and photography, which I do little of in the summer because of ticks, heat, and snakes. I know fall is approaching and I hope that helps me get out of this funk somewhat. I will also speak to my psychiatrist about lowering my dosage to see if that helps. Even my writing has been affected. I have not had the desire to write. Music, however, ha...
Post a Comment
Read more