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I am validated

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography (https://www.instagram.com/timothybme/)

Recently I read a quote from one of my favorite musicians, Chris Cornell.  He told his daughter Lily Cornell once, who also battles anxiety, “Stupid people don’t have anxiety. The fact that you’re worrying about what the outcome is going to be and thinking what every possible option could be and worrying about all the ways that things could go wrong, it’s because you’re very smart and because your brain works really fast. And even though it sucks, and it can feel like a total burden, you’ll harness it and you’ll figure out how to use it in ways that are helpful to you and others.”  This quote hit me hard.  I spoke to my doctor about this recently and even apologized to her, because she often gave me a similar message, but it was not until I read it did I as feel validated.  I am normal, I am not petty or childish, and I am not stupid.

Most days I still struggle.  Some days I can easily overcome the speed of my brain, other days are more challenging.  The weather has limited my time spent on my coping mechanisms (hiking, blogging, photography and listening to music), which has only added to the daily anxiety I feel.

My friend Mark is back from his vacation, and he motivates me to go out and take pictures.  I didn’t realize how having a buddy with the same interests means so much.  His friendship and willingness to explore only adds to the benefits I have when out with him.

Fall is about 30 days away and again this excites me for the opportunity to shoot colors and get back on the trails.  The oppressive heat, bugs, snakes, ticks and poisonous plants will disappear soon, and that is when this bear will come out of hibernation.

Anxiety sucks.  It often consumes me.  I hope someday I will conquer it.  I yearn for ultimate peace and my mind to rest.  I will leave you with another quote from Chris. “Half alive. Heard the most brilliant lie. Sleep is eyes closed to the light. Death is the mind wide open.”–Chris Cornell.

Until next time,

Tim

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