My mother recently passed away one week ago today. After attending the visitation, funeral mass, and funeral now it is time for me, my sister, and family and friends to heal. As Mom and I often butted heads and didn’t see eye to eye on many things, I know the love was there and she was well respected and loved by many. I have attached her Obituary beautifully written by my sister and a close and longtime family friend Sr. Rose Rule. Below that is the Eulogy sentimentally written by my cousin.
Obituary:
Wanita Ann Wolfe Bindner,
July 17, 1936-June 10, 2020, 83, died peacefully at UofL Mary & Elizabeth Hospital surrounded by family and friends.
Preceded in death by her best friend and husband of 43 years, Francis “Skip” Bindner, Jr., parents Waldo Wolfe and Mildred Masterson Wolfe, brothers Terrance and Keith Wolfe, sisters-in-law Dorothy Wolfe, Sharon Bindner Carpenter, Janie Bindner Patterson, brother-in-law Charles “Sonny” Carpenter, nephew Terry Dearing and numerous other special family and friends including Tom Wolfe.
Wanita is survived by her loving children Timothy (Marcie) Bindner, daughter Susan (Todd) Hoffman, and her grandchildren whom she adored, Gavin Bindner and Mateo and Ian Hoffman. She also leaves to cherish her memory her sisters-in-law Mary Rose Wolfe and Alice Bindner Dearing, brothers-in-law John Dearing and Charles Patterson and many loved nieces, nephews, neighbors, and friends.
Wanita’s childhood was spent in West Point, KY, where her father was the mayor. She attended St. Paul Catholic School, St. Catharine Academy in Springfield, KY, Ursuline College, and Nazareth College where she received her Master’s Degree.
Her vocation was with her family. She always talked about the love and kindness shown by her parents and grandmother. She felt such a connection with her brothers and missed them until the day she died. Once married, she and Skip made the Wolfes, Bindner’s and eventually their own children and grandchildren their top priority. They spent their weekends caring for their parents and were completely involved in all the activities Tim and Susan chose for themselves. Wanita wanted nothing more than to keep her family close. She was a great example for us to follow.
Wanita was a true example of a steward, giving her time, talents, and treasure in her work and personal life. Wherever she saw a need she was more than willing to help. She tirelessly volunteered for St. Paul’s Catholic Church, St. Vincent DePaul, Our Lady of Consolation Parish organizations and 4-H. She was also a former Associate of the Dominican Sisters.
Her time at Holy Rosary Academy brought her great joy. Her entire career was spent at HRA as a coach, teacher, and counselor for 40 years. As a counselor, she took great pride in the achievements her girls made as they moved into their professional and personal lives. Athletics were her passion. She coached field hockey, basketball, swimming, and numerous other sports.
She never wanted to be recognized for her outstanding achievements, but others saw it differently. She was inducted into the 2005 Metro Area Athletic Directors’ High School Hall of Fame. She and her colleagues were instrumental in moving women’s sports from intramural to competitive play. Wanita also received the Academy Basketball Coaches Award in 1998. In recognition of her abiding concern for those with financial challenges, she received the St. Paul Conference St. Vincent de Paul award. Over the years Wanita was honored for her generosity in many other ways and was very humble with the recognition.
Eulogy:
Good morning. For those of you that don’t know me, I am Chad Carpenter, Wanita Bindner’s nephew through her husband Skip Bindner, my maternal uncle.
When my cousin Susan called me last week she said, “I’m working on the obituary but I just don’t know how I’m supposed, to sum up, the 40 years of her life at Holy Rosary. I can’t even imagine writing the eulogy”. There was a pause and then she asked, “Would you give the eulogy?” At that moment I was struck with a great sense of dread but when I recovered, I responded that of course, I would. I would be honored.
When I read the published obituary a couple of days later I understood what Susan had meant. How does one sum up in a few paragraphs or in the few moments of a eulogy the life of a woman who impacted the lives of so many people in so many ways and on so many levels? And that is when I finally understood the enormous breadth and depth of Aunt Wanita’s life.
You see to me she was always just my Aunt Nini, a kind and loving aunt who lived way out in Valley Station, completely the other side of the world to me as a child. It wasn’t until I was much older that I came to appreciate fully that she was so much more than my aunt. She was a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a coach, a teacher, a counselor, but above all, she was a friend.
One of the things that always struck me the most about Aunt Wanita was how strongly rooted her identity was in her Catholic faith. It literally informed every single thing she did. She was a steadfast and vocal champion of Catholic education and her involvement with the parishes of Our Lady of Consolation and St Paul’s, the Saint Vincent DePaul Society, the Dominican Sisters, 4-H, and of course, Holy Rosary Academy, was the direct result of the call she felt, a call made manifest to her by her deep and abiding faith, to share her time, talent, and treasure.
For me personally, I witnessed the sharing of these gifts within the intimate setting of the family. Whether during holiday gatherings, at ballgames, or simply just visiting, her love and devotion to her family were readily apparent and she always put family first.
And then of course there was her second family, Holy Rosary Academy. You cannot separate the two. If you talk about Aunt Wanita then you have to talk about Holy Rosary and vice versa. I obviously didn’t attend Holy Rosary but my sister Michelle did, and through her, I started to understand a completely different part of my aunt to what I had known before and the enormous role that she played in the life of the school and its students over the course of 40 years. As one alumna stated so simply and eloquently, she was Holy Rosary. Emblazoned on the floor of the main entrance into the school was the seal of the Dominican Order inscribed with three simple Latin words – Laudare, Benedicere, Praedicare, to praise, to bless, and to preach. Aunt Wanita wholly embraced these values throughout her life and exemplified what it means to live a life of Christian charity towards our fellow man.
Aunt Wanita’s long life and prolific involvement in so many organizations meant that she knew, quite literally, thousands of people. I often thought to myself that she was like a living, breathing ancestry.com. She knew who was related to whom, where they went to school, when they graduated, who their friends were, who they married, who their children were, what they did, when they were born, when they died, all of it. She knew all of it.
After my parents passed away I would often call Aunt Wanita on my way home from work. It was always a great time to catch up, relax, and ameliorate the stress of a commute. When we had dispensed with the obligatory how are you, I’m fine, how are you, etc. we would turn to what she’d been up to since last we spoke and that’s when it would start.
She’d launch into everything she’d been doing but in addition, she would add in all the folks who were involved along the way. And it would always be something like, I went to the doctor for my appointment and you know Dr. so & so don’t you? He went to DeSales and was in Tim’s class and his brother went to DeSales too and I think he graduated with you, did you know him? He also had a sister who was in Susan’s class, did you know her? Well anyway he married so & so and she went to Rosary, I think Michelle might have known her. He and his wife have two children now, oh what are their names? I can’t remember. Do you know who I’m talking about? And the whole time I’m like yeah I got nothing, Aunt Wanita. I literally have no idea who you’re talking about. And this could go one for a good 45 -50 minutes.
But you know what, I loved it. It speaks to her goodness and love of people because only someone who is that genuinely invested in you, as a person would bother to learn everything about you and remember it. And that’s a gift. It’s what gave her the ability to connect to all of us. I will miss those conversations but my one consoling thought is that right now, up in heaven, there is one person who absolutely knows more people than God. Aunt Wanita.
She was a woman of tremendous strength and fierce independence with a slightly stubborn streak who lived life on her terms up until her last day. Even when I would call to ask how things were going she always responded that she was doing well and things were fine even though I knew they weren’t. She never wanted to focus on herself. Her humility and grace in light of the prevailing winds against her were a hallmark of her character.
So how do you sum up the life of a woman like Aunt Wanita who gave so much of herself over the course of her 83 years? It’s very simple. You look in the faces of her children, Tim and Susan, her grandchildren, Gavin, Mateo, and Ian, and the faces of all of those who are come here today to celebrate her life. We are her legacy because we knew her, were made better by her, but most of all because we loved her and she loved us.
When Dad died I was told at his visitation “you are now the man of the family”. When Mom died someone told me “you are now an orphan”. Let that sink in. Not something anyone wants to ever hear.
I know my Mom is at peace now. She is in Heaven with Dad, her brothers, sister-in-law, parents, my cousin Tom, and the thousands of people (family and friends) she knew that went before her. Rest in Peace Mom. I will see you again someday.
Until next time,
Tim
Comments
Post a Comment
Love to get your feedback on what you read!