Thy Will Be Done

Through the process of taking over Mom’s finances back in May through her death and litigation process of the Will, I have learned a lot.  I am taking steps to lessen the burden for my wife and son upon my death.  This will not be the most exciting post I write but I implore you if you have loved ones this is something you should deeply consider, though I know 90% of you will brush it off.

My sister and I have begun the process of cleaning out some things from my Mom’s house.  Well more like I have.  My sister “will get to them later”.  When my in-laws came over to pick up a deep freeze, and a cherry bedroom suite, including a bed frame, mattress, dresser, and vanity, they walked around the house looking at all the stuff and said: “you guys have a lot to do”.  It was joking followed up by “you are going to have fun when we die”, as stated by Marcie’s dad.  Though it was a joke to him, I took it differently.  As the person responsible for taking care of my house, bills, and belongs I feel everyone should take the steps to ensure that after their passing the ones left behind do not have the monumental job of handling things that I should take care of.

First, everyone should have a WILL.  Even if you don’t have kids, a WILL is needed.  I also learned that only a single EXECUTOR should be named.  My sister and I are to divide Mom’s estate 50/50, but as Co-executors, I had to sign a form to designate my sister the executor.  Why?  First I live in a different state from Mom and my sister.  If I was name executor then a bond would be placed on me.  This is done automatically by the courts in case they have to come to get me for some reason.  Keep in mind this is Kentucky and other state’s policies may differ.

Next, I learned when creating my own WILL that only the original WILL is legal.  The attorney may have a copy, but it is only used as a reference.  In Mom’s case, she may have shredded the original (newly updated WILL), so we are using an older original WILL.  In this WILL she designates that everything goes to my DAD (who died in 2007), then my original house and my sister’s original house which they helped us sign for goes to each of respectively (both houses were sold over 15 years ago).  Finally, after all that, my sister and I are to split everything 50/50.  The attorney now has to prove Dad is dead, the houses were sold and then get to the status we currently are.

Once we get a court date, then the account is frozen for 6 months (law), to allow any creditors to come forward (again it may differ by state).  At that point, we can then work on selling her house and dividing up those assets.  During Covid-19 the courts are backed up and the earliest hope of a court date is September.  Pushing the 6 months to February or later.

So besides the WILL (again I urge everyone to get one), I have learned to start keeping a record of all of mine and Marcie’s accounts, passwords, anything that is directly billed, life insurance policies, and investments.  I have had to run down Mom’s accounts (investments, checking, savings, credit cards, and daily bills).  My task is to now begin recording these for Marcie and my son.  Not just writing down an account number, but what type of account it is, the account number, the contact info (including website and phone number).  This includes things like LifeLock (who will not talk to you without a Power of Attorney), and will not cancel Mom’s direct withdrawal payment until they have a Death Certificate.  I have spent hours tracking all these things down, making phone calls to get on the accounts (POA before she died, and Death Certificate after she died), and my goal is to lessen the blow for anyone after I die.

The above is only a small snippet of what I have learned.  I’d be happy to let anyone else I have learned, but again be responsible.  Make a WILL, get things in order, and keep it securely somewhere so that your beneficiaries know how to access it.  Shred taxes every April 15^th that are older than 3 years.  Shred bank statements older than 5 years.  Keep warranty information for things you still own and destroy paperwork you don’t.  Go through your stuff and designate who gets what, or like my sister and I did when Mom was alive, went through it with her and documented it, which gave her peace of mind.  “Having fun going through someone’s stuff after they die” is preventable and irresponsible.  Death is hard and painful. Having to think and worry about all the above only compounds the pain and anxiety.

Until next time,

Tim