Who can I trust?

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography

Self-Reflection is something I am still exploring every day of my life. I am trying to get better at it, but after 51+ years it is difficult. Can’t teach an old dog new tricks, or can you?

My decisiveness or an all or nothing (Dogmatic view) way of thinking is irrational thinking. I (and you) are bombarded via social media, news, and even with the conversations with friends and family to think and in many cases react/think this way.

I think I am right with my thinking and rational decisions. It is part of my defense mechanism. It is natural and promoted in our culture. The problem is not this way of thinking, but the fact that I tend to shut out or not listen to other points of view. I hear a topic or subject and immediately form or have formed an opinion about it, without listening. This is how my brain works.

So how am I going to change? I am going to rely on my wife and a very select few people to not just tell me what I want to hear, but when I tell them how I am thinking and feeling on a subject, then ask if I am ‘right’, I will hopefully have a strong enough relationship with that person and trust that I can listen and accept an opposing point of view. Listen before I set my mind. I have to get outside of my head and confide in others to get there. I want to keep maturing and grow up.

I know I have to change, to pivot the direction of my brain. The key aspect I want to change is my reaction to things. I can control my reactions through baby steps. Small changes and quit taking everything as a personal attack. Especially when another view differs from my own.

I have often said the key to any relationship is trust and communication. 95% of my communication is in my head. That is what I plan to change. I am wanting to talk things out (sorry dear), and ‘try’ to accept others’ perspectives (those I trust). I am looking for a few folks to keep me grounded and keep me in line. Any takers?

I will leave you with a quote from John F. Kennedy “Too often we hold fast to the clichés of our forebears. We subject all facts to a prefabricated set of interpretations. We enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.” I am a thinker, but I strive to be a communicator as well.

Until next time,

Tim