Ruminator

Photo by: Mark Wilcoxson I am an over-thinker.  What does that mean and why should you care? I recently saw something on Facebook (yes there are a few good things on there), that I had to repost and got me thinking (ironically).  The post stated ‘ I’m an over-thinker so if you don’t give me an answer I’ll come up with one of my own .’  This is why I am the antithesis of most people I meet.  If you have read any of my blogs it should not take long for anyone to figure out that I ask a lot of questions.  I ask questions not to fill dead air, but I like to know things, but more specifically why.  Why people think the way they do, why they act the way they do or even say what they say, but most importantly why they think a certain way.  I try not to judge but to understand.  I rarely take things on merit.  I like to understand the meaning behind decisions or choices and even research if a reason is not readily available.  Thus, if you know me, you know I like to ask. A rec...

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography Since I wrote last I have had a lot of little things happen that have excited me, challenged me and helped me grow.  I will discuss a few of them here. First, I was recently interviewed on a Podcast that I follow.  I follow a few but this is one of my favorites.  The host reached out via Facebook and asked if anyone was interested in doing a brief interview for the podcast.  I messaged him, within minutes I found myself on my computer answering a few questions about what I shoot, what I use, and various other topics regarding photography.  It was short and sweet, but I did make the final cut and was on the global podcast.  I also was asked to record a payoff (the promotion of their website, IG, etc.) upon which I have done.  It is currently done by their kids, but they liked the idea of having different voices and accents to promote their feeds.  Mine will be broadcast next month I am told. Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography   I decided to step out ...

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography   At the time of this post-release, I will be visiting the location of a childhood traumatic situation that happened to me.  It was something that scared me then and still impacts me today.  As I continue on my journey to face my demons head-on, this is one that still impacts me deeply. I have mentioned this in a previous blog post but at a young age, I went to the Kentucky State Fair.  It was a family thing we did every year, but when I was maybe 9 or 10 something changed.  That year a school ‘friend’ named Dennis convinced my parents to let us go off on our own.  In the late 70’s things like that were not unheard of, but also very safe.  Kidnappings, sex trafficking, and abductions were extremely rare.  We also didn’t have cell phones like today.  Within ten minutes of leaving my parents, I found myself surrounded by a sea of strangers, with my friend Dennis nowhere in sight.  For the next 3-4 agonizing hours, I wandered around ...

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography   This week has tested me a bit when it comes to my anxiety but the main thing I thought would cause me the most anxiety didn’t.  I learned some things about myself this week that I want to document. In Indiana, if a 16-year-old gets a learner’s (driver’s) permit and goes through driving school, and passes it, along with passing the driving test through the driving school they are eligible to get their driver’s license (probationary) 90 days after.  Friday was such a date for my son. I drove my son’s truck to pick him up from school, parked in an available park spot, climbed out and sat on the passenger’s side.  I was given the thumbs up by multiple students (I was in an old Ford truck), and then soon my son appeared.  I was not met with a hello or hi, but instead began the lecture of me parking in a ‘seniors’ spot.  After his lecture, which I cut off, I pointed out first that the only designation for parki...

I met with Dr. Erin today and as always she helped guide me through the fog that my brain, past, and life experiences have put before me.  I have also reached the point where I feel I no longer need to see her regularly. I first want to point out I hand-delivered two framed pictures to her office.  They are 11×14 photos in 16×20 black frames with white mats.  These are not the ones I had promised to give her but ones she will be hanging in her office lobby for sale.  As I laid the box down, pulled out the pictures and showed her both of them she smiled and nodded with approval.  She stepped out of her office for a second and asked her husband where to put them until they get them hung then came back in to start our session. As we boxed them back up she looked at me and said: “so how did this process make you feel?”  I told her that picking a size to print was not that difficult, but determining a price and choosing two photos was hard.  In her typical therapy way, ...