What a week.

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography

This week has been an emotional challenge for me.  I was hit much more than I am used to but honestly I dealt with it much better than normal.

First, let me begin with last weekend.  I decided to buy a new vehicle, so I went last Saturday to view the two trim levels I had narrowed down too.  My wife went with me, we sat in two vehicles twice, and crunched the numbers.  We spent about 45 minutes there and then headed home.  On the way home I waived the benefits of both vehicles I looked and made the decision.  I arrived home, called and put a small hold deposit on the car.  I then told the salesman I would return next weekend to make the purchase.

A few days before I was contacted late one evening by my mother.  She called and said I just had this recliner delivered and I need it moved.  I asked if she had said anything to the guys that delivered it and of course the answer was no.  She stated it was too heavy and wondered if I could come over and move it for her.  Let me point out I live 40 minutes away, but I know my mom would not let it go so I frustratingly went over.  When I arrived she had me move the chair about 18 inches from where it was.  In my mother’s typical fashion she asked if I liked it and where do I think it should go.  Due to my frustration and also the fact she cannot seem to make decisions I responded “it is not up to me.  It’s your chair you need to make that decision but I will put it anywhere you like.”  She finally chose a spot next to the couch and an angle so it was facing the television.  I moved it where she wanted and even received a confirmation when I asked is where you want it.  “Yes, that is perfect.”  She then asked if I could take the chair that was there upstairs and I did.  As I returned downstairs she was pushing against the chair attempting to move it.  I, of course, lost my temper and snapped at her.  Things eventually settled down and I left, driving 40+ minutes back home.

Monday morning, Tuesday morning and Wednesday morning I was awakened by multiple leg cramps.  I also received one on early Saturday morning.  These were all more severe than I had ever had and left me limping most of the week.  Due to the interrupted sleep, I was very agitated and fatigued.  They have since then stopped but I can still feel the after-effects.

Tuesday morning my son had four wisdom teeth removed.  He was most anxious about the IV.  The surgery was quick, but his brief recovery at the office was hilarious.  We have many videos to embarrass him for years.  First, we had to pay a large sum of money for the surgery as our insurance didn’t cover it, then I had to watch my son suffer through the pain and swelling.  No parent ever wants to see their child suffer.

Friday I met with Dr. Erin and explained the issues I mentioned, the upcoming ‘big’ purchase and that the flood of anxiety was hitting me hard that week.  We talked through many of the issues listed, and a few more, but she noticed I seemed a bit calmer or more in control this time.  I felt that way too.  Ironically we discussed my two color choices for my new car.  She laughed when I told her I was getting either a white or black car.

Saturday we headed to the dealership to make the purchase.  I had the money set up for the down payment, tried to calculate and anticipate any costs and was wavering on trading in my car or trying to sell it outright.  We drove my car to the dealership and got a trade-in value.  It was not what I had hoped but close enough for me to let it go.  Upon arriving the sales guy was in a staff meeting (we knew that and got there early), so we walked around for about 10 minutes looking at all the cars, and then I spotted the one I was going to purchase.  It had been detailed and was looking very shiny, however, I had specifically asked that the dealership sticker not be put on the back of the car and of course, there it was in bright gold lettering.   We walked around the car and Marcie spotted what appeared to be two scratches on the passenger door.  They were wax marks and were removed with the dealer sticker as requested.

The sale itself was fairly painless and not pressured at all.  I had found an additional $500 coupon that I was able to use with my existing discount.  The sales guy answered all my questions and the deal was made.  We signed about 14,000 forms and headed home.  I know for the first time own a brand new car, that by the ay was about $1000 more than 2016 comparably equipped sitting in the lot.

The weekend ended with a nice Father’s Day lunch at my favorite restaurant and a nice dinner with my wife (son is still suffering and can’t eat much).  A few years ago or even a few months back I would have been a glob of dough after this week.  My brain would have been in hyperdrive and my nerves would have been shot.  I have made some real progress and can now better deal with things that happen.  I am still anxious and a bit on edge but it is not debilitating as it has been in the past.  My wife has been there through this all, and she is helping me truly live again.  I am learning to live as this quote often pops in my head, “Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over, instead of craving control over what you don’t.” Anonymous

Until next time,

Tim