As part of my therapy, I was asked to make decisions and live with them. Dr. Erin said when making decisions or choices “Don’t try to explain why, justify your decision or waiver over it, just make it. Above all don’t second guess the decision after the fact.” With those choices or decisions (or even how I view myself as a person) look for things I do, say or think as good or “good enough”.
“If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another.“
The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience.” – Deepak Chopra
After a lengthy discussion of my photography (with the good doctor) I am going to deeply challenge myself to choose 10 of my best photographs (at the moment). Those who know me, know I am uber critical of my work. I strive to always get better and improve (which is a good thing), but I also am quick to point out flaws of my work, in most cases degrading others’ opinions of my work. The intent is not to disparage others’ views, but to try and justify in my mind how my work, ideas, opinions, etc. are not ‘good enough’.
I have decided to challenge myself. It seems simple enough for most, but not for me. First, I will review my entire catalog and pick my top 10 (as of today, due to my regular shooting, the next ‘good enough’ shot may come tomorrow), then once I have completed this process I will blog on each shot. I will describe tidbits such as the location, why I chose to shoot what I did, and even explain my process for choosing color or monochrome. I am not sure if this will be an interesting read to those who are not photographers, but for those like you who analyze everything, this might give you deeper insight into the Pandora’s Box of my brain.
The point of this exercise is to challenge me to find 10 “good enough” shots and live with the decision. It is known that most artists (I use that term loosely in my case), rarely like or appreciate their work, thus the need (I feel) to do this. As Dr. Erin says “make a decision and live in the uncomfortableness of it.”
Here is # 10.
Technical aspects:
Camera – Fuji XT-2
Aperture – F/4
Shutter Speed – 1/1000 sec.
Focal Length – 55mm
ISO – 400
Film Simulation – Classic Chrome
Location – Downtown Louisville (Belvedere) – https://goo.gl/maps/Dgy3UzUeuhpSuXHt5
Date – July 22, 2018, at 9:10 am.
Mark and I were walking around downtown on a slightly overcast morning. We had begun early that morning shooting and were heading back to the car when I saw this gentleman walking from his truck carrying his chair, fishing poles, tackle box, cooler, and fishing net. As he set up we were still photographing areas around where the Belle of Louisville was docked, capturing ropes, pulleys, cables, windows, etc. I turned this gentleman and snapped this shot. What made me take it and why does it fall into my top 10?
Looking at the man, I can only judge what I am about to tell you as I had no interaction with him. This is what I see in my shot. He is a skinny man, dressed in jeans and a dark shirt (remember this is July). He is covered in tattoos and is smoking. My assumption is he is ex-military. His long beard and long hair was a reflection of some rebellion for many years of service and having to shave and cut his hair. His smoking is also a result of those years of service and his age. The boots and cap suggest a possible motorcycle lifestyle, or a trucker persona (he came from a black Dodge truck). I think this is a man who has had some rough times in his life and finds moments of solace and peace in this moment of fishing in a comfy chair. He might there be catching a meal, to enjoy a hobby, or just there to calm his mind.
I see some irony of the ship passing by in the background. Is he thinking about his life and what he has experienced in his life, or is the passing ship just a personal self-reflection of something within me? Dr. Erin? My perception of the military background is also validated in my mind by the fact his net is properly placed by a nice, orderly stacked bait box, and cooler. Is this from military training or just a man who has lived and learned how to put things in order in his life? His gear, chair, boxes, and even fishing poles have an order to the way it is placed.
The final aspect I like about this picture is the muted color that flows throughout the shot. The sky was awash with various shades of gray. No bright colors, just dark blues, grays and even the white of his beard blends in with the surroundings. His choice of dark blue jeans and a black shirt and even ‘Army green’ chair, all add to the feel of this shot for me. All things blend yet he stands out as the focal point of my shot.
I took more away from this shot than just a simple picture. I want to know his story. I want to know what he was thinking or feeling. What is his back story, where does he come from, where does he live, work, and what stories does he have in the past? Was he ever in a war? Did he serve in the military? Does the sailing ship provide irony to his life story or is it just there? Do the semi-rough waters provide any resemblance to his life or even mine? Heck, what is his name? I will likely never know and only have to live with the made-up story I created in my mind.
I hope this is his way to relax and meditate. To calm the waters that stir before and within him. That is what I see. The photograph brings me peace. I captured what I hope is his peace through a vehicle that also brings me peace, my camera. There is the irony!
Until next time,
Tim
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