Skip to main content

Fake news??

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography

After taking the Enneagram test a while back I decided to sign up for the EnneaThought for the day email based on my test results (I am a six).  I receive these emails daily and they are usually spot-on, but two I received recently hit home to me.  The first stated “the overall keynote of Sixes is alertness.  Their minds (mine) are wired in such a way that their attention is immediately drawn to anything out of the ordinary in the environment.  This serves Sixes well, to sense a shift in another person’s actions or motives.”  This applies to me profoundly.  As a photographer, I tend to see things many people miss.  I sometimes capture those, sometimes just observe.  I also notice this in other aspects like visual media.  When watching movies or tv, I tend to notice flaws in the shows or movies and also notice actors from other shows/movies and remember what they previously played in.  Recently I had an experience with someone who fully and energetically supported me writing this blog and highly encouraged me to do so.  I have learned recently that as stated above this person’s actions and motives have either been dishonest or misleading.  This person occasionally reads my blog or rarely understand the message within those posts. I guess the fault of my writing skills.  Both results are fine except this person tends to tell me how great the posts are.  I prefer honesty over telling me what I want to hear.  This is just one example I could think of.  I have many more.  Honestly, I am writing this blog for me as a form of therapy. However, I have found that through this process, many others have benefitted from my messages, and I love the support and genuine encouragement I receive.

The EnneaThought email above continues “alertness, however, lead to second-guessing everything including themselves, as well as other less healthy states of mind.”  I also identify with this aspect as well.  I second guess my decisions (afraid of failure), and I am in a constant state of observation, focusing on others’ true intentions as mentioned above.  Always looking for trustworthy and genuine people.

The second email that I found so appealing stated “Sixes are full of contradictions.  They can be dependent on others, yet value their independence.  They want to be trusted and to trust others, yet constantly test others to allay their suspicions.  They want protection from an authority, yet fear it.  They are obedient, yet disobedient…. Sixes are full of contradictions because anxiety makes them ricochet from one psychological state to another.”  This describes me perfectly.   I am constantly testing my friends and my circle of valued, trustworthy allies is getting smaller. I so want to trust people, but I am learning that the true persona that most people display is not accurate.  Not their true selves.  I too hide many of my thoughts and feelings, but through this blog, I found a safe way to open up more than most people do or ever will.  I often hear “I admire you for opening up, I would never be able to do that.”  I also wonder why people feel the need to put up walls.  I may end up all alone when I reach the end of my life due to alienation, but I want to be me, and trying to worry less of the consequences.  If I can be me without fear and I only have a small group of loyal trusted friends/family then I will have succeeded.  My goal is not to alienate people but to find the true, honest, and genuine people out there who accept me for me.  The ones that I can trust.  Not to tell me what I want to hear, but what I need to hear, without judgment.

I will continue to have internal contradictions and also remain on ‘high alert’ around people, but I am hoping through the lens of my camera and the lens of my heart I can continue to learn and see the true beauty of this world and not the “fake news” that most people are sending out.

I will soon be starting my hiking adventures again, and plan to start writing about those (the original intent of this blog).  A true contradiction in my life is the necessity to be and remain around people a majority of the time.  Two things have balanced and lessened the anxiety of being around people for me.  One is the ability to work from home full time, the other is the ability to hike alone or with small groups of trusted people.  Life is a balance.  Yin and Yang, Uke and Nage are examples of balance and counter-balance.  What causes you stress and anxiety?  Can you eliminate it or will it be there no matter what?  If it can be eliminated (activity, person, situation, feeling) from your life, remove it.  If it cannot, learn to not provide it as much energy as you have and deal with it when it happens, then let it go.  These are things I have asked myself and I am finding answers to these questions and dealing with them.

Until next time,

Tim

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Love to get your feedback on what you read!

Popular posts from this blog

25 years

  How do I put love into words? Especially after 25 years of marriage, two children, a few dogs, and various moves we have made both with jobs and homes. How do I explain how someone is in my daily thoughts, and every decision I make takes her into account? I have seen her grow into an exceptional mother, loving and understand wife, and beautiful human being. She is the reason I am still here on earth. Dearest Marcie, Twenty-five years. A quarter of a century. It feels like yesterday we stood at the altar, our hearts brimming with hope and anticipation. And yet, as I look back on these years, I am filled with a profound sense of gratitude and love. You have been my constant, my rock, my guiding star. Your love has been a beacon of light, illuminating my path even in the darkest of times. Our home is alive with the melody of your laughter, bringing boundless joy, while your kindness ignites a warmth within my very being. I cherish the memories we've made together - the adv...
Post a Comment
Read more

Good Enough?

  This past week Dr. Erin and I discussed many things. She did, however spring a new term on me. Social Attribution Error. It is something I suffer from, without knowing the term and we dove a little deeper into it and what I could do to reverse it. Social Attribution Error has many aspects but a few I want to point out. Explaining behavior : It's the process of trying to understand why someone acted a certain way by assigning a cause to their behavior.  Internal vs. external attribution : You can attribute behavior to internal factors (like personality traits) or external factors (like situational circumstances). With a bit of conversation Erin and I discussed my strong and irrational internal attribution and how I always see myself as not good enough. Not a good enough father, husband, friend, employee, relative, writer, photographer, etc. Much of this started in my childhood when my mother would compare me to my classmates, friends and even cousins...
Post a Comment
Read more

A gift from a friend

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography Recently I received a gift from a friend.  It was unexpected but it meant so much.  A simple gesture, an act of kindness, a show of love and friendship. I met Miranda via Instagram based on a recommendation from my buddy Mark.  Like most things, he recommends I seriously consider and highly respect his suggestions.  This was true to form.  I began following Miranda on Instagram, Facebook and even viewing her website.  I stuck up a few online conversations and got the nerve to ask her for an interview.  I wrote about that here . Eventually, text and online correspondence led to a few phone calls.  I admired her work and even discussed creating a book of my own and she admitted wanting to do one as well.  Specifically, I saw two pictures that I loved.  My passion for nature, especially trees is well known.  When I saw this photo (single tree) I was floored.  I even asked her if I could buy a copy.  Nothing really came of that.  I then saw another photo ...
Post a Comment
Read more