Take the good times with the bad.

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography

Recently I have experienced a few uncomfortable situations for me as well as a few great experiences.  In all cases, I purposely lived in those moments and took what I could from them.

As a photographer, I enjoy being on one side of the lens and not the other.  I love the creativity of seeing a shot, taking it and with some luck having it turn out the way I hoped or envisioned when I took it.  I was asked by the hiking club I belong to call a reporter who was doing a story on that club so she could interview me.  The interview was over the phone and quite enjoyable.  The scary part came later when I was asked to meet her and her photographer at one of my hiking destinations so the photographer could get some shots for the article.  I assumed the shots were of the trails, points I loved in the area, etc., but in fact, they were of me hiking.  As mentioned I am uncomfortable being photographed and even worse being photographed alone.  I decided to test my new found thinking and live in the moment.  I thought how I would handle the situation from the photographer’s perspective, took time to enjoy my surroundings, and ultimately realized that I had nothing to fear.  I also took some solace in knowing not many people will even see the article.  I build walls to keep me safe until they’re crashing down.  This experience was a crashing wall for me, but I made the best of it, and feel better as a result.

My next experience was a simple one, yet super joyful to me.  I met a few friends along with my wife and we tried a new restaurant.  The meal was delicious and the evening continued back at our friend’s house where we just hung out, talked and watched a few funny videos on YouTube.  Though this seems like a simple, and maybe boring evening for some, it was one I cherished.  Our lives are running at the hyperspeed these days and the simple act of a non-rushed dinner and simple conversation with friends is something I felt was so rewarding.

As a young child, I attended the Kentucky State Fair many times.  One particular year I went with a friend of mine who convinced my parents to let me go alone with him to check out the fair.  I was about 8 or 10 I believe.  Within minutes of leaving my parents, my friend left me.  I spent the next three hours looking around at strangers, crying and feeling a fear I have never felt again.  I eventually found Farmer Fred (a large figure at the fair) and eventually a police officer.  I was eventually reunited with my parents but to this day I fear large crowds, even though I am larger than most people and would have no issue getting away if I needed too.  As a child, I was surrounded by a sea of strangers and there seemed no way to get out.  I mention this because I attended that fair this weekend.  The inner fear was still present but I used that fear to have a heightened sense which helped me capture some good moments with my camera.  I again lived in the moment and looked for the positives, instead of dwelling in the past.

The final experience I believe validated my insanity.  I woke up early Sunday morning intending to be in downtown Louisville at 6 am (yes 6 am).  My goal was to meet my good friend Mark and for us to capture the sunrise in the city.  Early mornings have always been a time of peace for me.  The world is still asleep and it feels like I am alone.  In this case, I was with Mark and we had the city to ourselves.  In photography, the best light for the shooting is about 30 minutes before the sun rises and up to an hour after it rises.  The same goes for the evening, the hour before sunset and 30 minutes after.  In this case, we did not capture the sunrise, but my goal was to also grab those wandering and dancing shadows provided by the buildings.  Rays of brightness cast shadows onto the empty city streets within its otherwise simplicity.  This warmth was mesmerizing.  As the city slowly came to light so did my inner spirit.  My only negative experience was that a knob on my camera fell off.  It still functions properly, I just have no access to that setting and must now pay to get it fixed.  Thus is life.

The old me would have not only lived in anxiety at the fair and on the hike being photographed, but I let my mind stay in the place and moment, look for the positives in those uncomfortable situations, and found a bit of inner peace.  I am given more than enough energy to transform myself every day, but I waste 98 percent of it on tensions, on emotional reactions unrelated to what is occurring, and on daydreaming and mental chatter.  Bad things will happen and so will uncomfortable situations, but I am learning to deal with them as they occur.  As I once heard ‘this too shall pass.’

Until next time,

Tim