What's the point here?

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography

My recent blog post (Tax on Life) sent a few of my friends and readers into a bit of panic mode.  I was offered suggestions on what I should do and suggestions on new things I need to add to my life as well as reading material to help me.

First I want to point out that I utilize my blog as a form of release and a way to work out my emotions/feelings/thoughts on virtual paper.  I internalize most of my thoughts and feelings but found this as a fairly safe outlet to release many of those thoughts and feelings.  Recently the posts tend to trend toward the negative side, but honestly, I think it is natural (or at least for me) to enjoy the good times in life as expected and not post on them very often.  If I have a great day, I tend to enjoy it and except it and feel happy about it.  Those times I can deal with.  It is the mental, physical and emotional stresses of my life that need the most energy and in my case worked out via this blog.  A friend called me with a perfect example.  If I go out to eat and have a good meal with good service and the meal is well priced, I likely will not post a review or let folks know about the experience unless specifically asked, as it is expected.  However, if the food is bad, service is poor or the bill is overpriced, I along with most people will share that story and likely even post a negative review on a site.

So where do I plan to go from here?  I have suggested a book to read on Buddhism.  Before reading this my only knowledge of Buddha was he was a fat, bald guy.  This reminds me of the guy I see in the mirror every morning, so I got that part down already.  After reading (well audiobook) I learned quite a bit that I feel can help me in my mental and emotional stability.  First what Buddha taught was nothing to do with religion but a sense of getting to inner peace through meditation.  He taught that life will throw you good and bad times but to live in the moment and let it go.  Through meditation, you can learn to remain calm in all situations and deal with them logically and not so much emotionally as tends to be my case.  I have begun the simple, yet difficult practice of meditation using an app suggested by a friend.  There were so many good points in this book, but I also want to focus on stress and anxiety.  As adults, especially those in the Western world we tend to lose the ability to focus on living, breathing and feeling through our bodies, and things move to aspects of logic, problem-solving and thinking through situations with our mind.  As a result, the body tends to hold a lot of that stress and anxiety in our heads, neck, and shoulders.  This has been pointed out to me when I get massages.  I am hoping through meditation I can learn how to loosen and eventually relieve that stress from those areas.  I have completed the book and will re-listen to it many times as reference until I can learn how to enhance my life through meditation and some of the practices mentioned in the book.  You can learn anything if it is relative to you.  In this case, I can relate to and want to learn.

I will also be trying one more method suggested by a friend to focus on the anxiety I am feeling.  More on that later.  I am glad that at least five of my friends reached out to me after reading my last blog with concerns about my well-being.  It feels good to feel loved, and know that I do have some people out there that are concerned about me and my well-being.  This blog is not intended as a means to ask for help or attention.  It is my thoughts/feelings/emotions flowing out of my body.  I am glad some are coming along my journey with me.

I don’t expect my blog format to change, but for these warm months if I hike, it will be in the city, and my reflections in these posts will be based on my process I am taking listed above.  By October I am hoping I can meditate without issue.  Along with hiking I plan to finally release much of this anxiety and live life with a true purpose.  To live a LIFE without negativity, emotional reactions, and so much self-analysis.  I just want to be free, live and ultimately get back to the woods.

Until next time,

Tim