Who am I?

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography

I recently read my friend’s latest blog post regarding two personality tests and decided to take one of them myself, continuing my journey of self-discovery.  I highly suggest you check out his blog here.  The results didn’t surprise me at all.

In this blog post, Michael talks about two different tests.  First is the Myers-Briggs test and second is the Enneagram test.  I took the Enneagram test found here.  So what were my results?

Per the test, which I agree with the results, I fall very closely into two types of personalities.  The first personality I fall into is THE LOYALIST, closely followed by THE INDIVIDUALIST.  You can read more in-depth on the links provided, but I will let you know why I feel these both fit my personality.

The Loyalist (type 6) is most known for being conflicted between trusted and distrusted people. Loyalists are in a constant state of worry, fear, and anxiety which describes me to a tee.  Type six people relentlessly worry about what can/will go wrong.  This is a benefit in it helps me to troubleshoot and plan for problems, but on the opposite end, I tend to plan everything out, in preparation for the worst and feel paralyzed/out of control with spontaneity.   My trust in people takes a long time to gain as I am ambivalent about others.  Once you ‘earn’ my trust I will be there for you to the end.  This loyalty can be a quandary as well, as I tend to stick with people long after I lose their trust, or they lose that trust in me, and I should simply move on.  One other point I learned was that fear motivates much of my behavior that I now see, but never really realized.

The Individualist (type 4) was a very close second in my personality type.  A friend mentioned to me that he sees me more as a type four personality than a six. The main point of this personality type is as suggested in the title that the individual feels both unique and different compared to others.  Though everyone feels this way, individuals build their personality around the feeling of being different or unique.  I identify with the aspect of this personality that I cannot find simple forms of happiness that other people tend to enjoy.  I do find myself (as my wife can attest to) very emotionally complex and emotionally highly sensitive, while feeling often misunderstood and unappreciated.  I tend to internalize everything and often analyze my feelings.  Type fours tend to be artistic, which goes along with my photography, but also have many bouts of depression, driven by self-reflection and my tendency to be self-absorbed even under the best of circumstances.  My thoughts often drift to fantasy instead of reality to balance my perception of the outside world.

My dominant traits of a Loyalist are intuitive, trustworthy, inquisitive, good friends, and problem-solvers along with the abilities of trouble-shooter, perspective, being loyal, warm, strategic-thinker, courageous, with a basic desire to feel safe and secure.  My challenges are over-vigilant, pessimistic, having an over-active imagination, anxious, withdrawn, and having a basic fear of things going wrong.

As an Individualist I tend to be creative, expressive, sensitive, emotional, introspective, artistic, authentic, appreciative of beauty, empathetic, compassionate, with an underlying basic desire of being unique and different.  My challenges lend me to be moody, temperamental, and prone to melancholy, self-absorbed, self-indulgent, intense, and unsatisfied with what is.  My basic fear is to have no identity.

As I move through life, I am trying to overcome the innate feelings and emotions that are built into my DNA.  My wife often asks me “why are you so negative?”  I honestly don’t know.  I think it derives from this sense of experiencing, expecting and planning for the worst.  My brain feels if it is prepared for the worst then I can deal with it.  I try to overcome these thoughts but I can’t seem to do so.  I will continue my photography, hiking, and this blog, to utilize these outlets to help me become a better person and deal with the self-imposed stresses and anxiety in my life.  I just know this will be a marathon, not a sprint.  The more I learn about myself and what makes me tick, the better prepared I can be to become the best person I can.

Until next time,

Tim