Skip to main content

Copper.

I had to make a tough decision today.  I had to put my dog to sleep.  He has been with us for over ten years and the pain I am feeling will not heal for a while.

I was on a business trip for work when I got the call from my wife that my four-year-old son was on his way with his grandparents to look at a dog.  I was being asked if it was okay to get one, but only one answer would suffice.  I arrived home late from my flight and made my way from the airport to Corydon, arriving home after 10 pm.  As I entered the house the main floor bathroom door was shut but the light was peering from below the door.  I sat my bag down and slowly opened the door.  Staring back at me was a set of big brown eyes from a fluff ball on the floor.  I saw many wee-wee pads scattered about the floor, which I had imagined were neatly placed there at one time but now were an organized mess.  I was greeted by Copper, our new Australian Shepherd.

Copper like most dogs had his puppy stage and high energy stage but about the age of two, he slowed down and became not only the family friend to us but a great buddy to my son.  We lived in a wooded area at the end of a cul-de-sac that rarely saw cars other than the neighbors.  Our son had free reign to run and play wherever he liked and Copper was always there.  When our son went next door to visit other kids we always knew where he was because Copper sat in the yard watching in his direction, until he returned however long he was gone.

Copper was the gentlest dog we ever met.  He never met a stranger, or never met an animal he didn’t like.  He even went to meet a skunk one morning as we quickly discovered upon his return to the house.

Today we took him to put him down.  It is never an easy thing and deep down I think he knew what was going on.  He is no longer in pain and I know he is in Heaven rolling in the grass or snow and having a ball.  My heart truly aches for our other dog, my son and especially my wife.  I feel helpless because I wish I could take their pain away and I can’t.  As a father and husband, it is my JOB to protect them and I can do nothing.  I take great solace in knowing Copper is no longer suffering nor in pain, I just wish I could say the same for us.  I love you buddy and miss you, buddy.  One day we will meet again!

Until next time,

Tim

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Nobody's Listening

  I recently had conversations with two people I know that had experienced a sudden rash of acute anxiety. One was medication related, the other was situational. Both stated that they now had a better understanding of what I have been dealing with. With the recent changes to my medication, Although I still feel anxiety, it no longer takes control of my emotions like it did in the past. However, I know acutely that it still lurks on the fringes, patiently awaiting its chance to pounce on me. During my recent visit to Dr. Erin, she assigned me an exercise where I had to jot down three things each day that I felt I excelled at. This is proving to be difficult for me. The parameters are straightforward and easy to understand. “Anything I do well that day,” she said. As I continued with this exercise, I began thinking of a song by Linkin Par called Nobody’s Listening. I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress Handful of anger held in my chest And everything left’s a wast...

Rumination

  I've found myself stuck in a loop lately. It's like my mind is on a hamster wheel, endlessly circling the same thoughts. I can't seem to shake them. It's exhausting. I've been there. That place where thoughts loop around and around, like a broken record stuck on the same groove. It's like my mind is a haunted house, and these persistent thoughts are the ghosts haunting me. I'll be thinking about something, maybe a conversation I had earlier in the day, and then suddenly, I'm spiraling. I'm replaying every word, every gesture, analyzing every detail. It's like a broken record, playing the same tune repeatedly. It's not just conversations, either. I can ruminate about my to-do list, my relationships, or even the weather. It's as if my brain is determined to find a problem, no matter how small. Rumination, as it's called, can be a real drain. It's like trying to go against the flow of a strong current. No matter how hard I ...

Waiting for the End to Come

  I have been in a funk lately. I am adjusting to my anxiety medicine, and I feel it is working, but maybe too well. Last week I met with Dr. Erin. She, of course, asked me how I was feeling and honestly, I told her I was not really feeling anything. We dug deeper, and she explained that my anxiety prior to the medicine was like a roller coaster. I had extreme highs and extreme lows. Now with the medicine it is more of a flatter track. I am not hitting the lows; Like I was before (which is good), but also not hitting the highs either. I feel like I am purely existing. Little desire to do much of anything. It’s true my passions are hiking and photography, which I do little of in the summer because of ticks, heat, and snakes. I know fall is approaching and I hope that helps me get out of this funk somewhat. I will also speak to my psychiatrist about lowering my dosage to see if that helps. Even my writing has been affected. I have not had the desire to write. Music, however, ha...