Adventure Hiking Trail

Adventure Hiking Trail - the return.

Today’s journey was a return to the Adventure Hiking Trail that I first explored a few weeks ago. Today’s hike was much different, however. Before Mark and I tackled the trail alone and right after heavy rains, today I was with a bigger group and the trail was much drier.

Normally I utilize my time on the trail for meditation, introspection, and self-reflecting. I was with a different crowd today. The hike was very peaceful and I always enjoy being in nature, but I had a different type of relaxation than I normally have. Today I spent time sharing small talk with others and listening to conversations echoing throughout the woods.

The section of the AHT we traveled today provided its visual wonders, including some streams, remnants of an old house, the shelter at the top of the hill, and of course the overlook. Signs of spring were everywhere, and I knew it was not far away. Many comments on how great this would look in the summer, were heard often. I thought how both autumn and what’s left of winter, to me those times provided the best views.

I felt distracted today. As always nature cleared out my head, but not to the extent it normally does. I plan to do more solitary hikes in the future. I love the sounds of nature and the pure peace I feel when I am not surrounded by noise, both from the world and from idle conversations.

I was glad I was able to take along others to experience what I had a few weeks back. It was evident that everyone had a good time, and we all let a small piece of us on the trail.

Until next time,

Tim

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I’m not okay. This week has been stressful. So much, in fact, I had to take a medical leave from Humana. It began today and will last through most of March. Though I am relieved somewhat, I still am fighting some of those internal demons that constantly haunt me. During my last visit with the doctor Erin, she knew immediately, without a word, that something was wrong. She noticed, and we discussed these stressors on several visits prior to my last one. It is not uncommon for me to face challenges and feel emotionally unsettled. I haven’t been okay for a while. Every morning, I am greeted with a racing heart and a wave of panic and anxiety as soon as I wake up. I feel as though my heart is a runaway train, racing uncontrollably and leaving me uncertain of its eventual destination. Whether it’s anxiety, fear, overwhelm, burnout, depression, ADHD, or simply the fast-paced world we live in today, my mind reached its breaking point. Overcoming and shaking off this feeling is l...

End

I don't worry about the world ending. It has ended for me many times and always started the next morning. Until next time Tim

Forever

So, I am finally coming to terms that I am not a forever type of person in most people’s lives. I mean, I’m okay to be a conversation when it’s needed, or I’m a person they call on when they need something. I am a placeholder or I’m a stand in. I am barely an option at the moment once they get whatever it is they need. Then they leave, and I am stuck holding onto feelings or emotions that drain me or cause me heartache. Accepting that realization that I am not a forever type person in people’s lives is reality. I have a tiny group of people that check on me regularly and for that; I am grateful. Most others fall into the category above. Until next time, Tim

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