Ruminator

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography https://timothybme.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/04-Vichnaya-Pamyat.mp3 I recently began watching an HBO miniseries that I must admit I am mesmerized by.    It is one of my bucket list locations, but I know I will never go there in person. My friend Mark contacted me one day recently and say have you started watching Chernobyl on HBO?  I had not, but quickly went to my television and began recording this five-part mini-series.  Mark continued that he had found this podcast ( but please watch the show before watching this video ), containing interviews and conversations with the writer of the show and I also found the podcast fascinating.  The show first aired on May 6 th , 2019 (episode one).  I have since learned that this is one of the highest-rated series on HBO, even as high as Game of Thrones. The show is a type of documentary series with many famous actors including Emily Watson , Jared Harris , and Stellan Skarsgard .  It has received rave re...

My interview this week is with Timothy Hsieh. Someone I have met a few times but we have a few things in common. Some you can guess others you may not. Photo by: Timothy Hsieh Photo by: Timothy Hsieh Photo by: Timothy Hsieh I met Tim ( 錦平 ) a few years back at Murphy’s Camera in Louisville. Tim worked there and I was in the market for a zoom lens for my Nikon camera. Tim was happy to help, showed me two different options, and suggested I take both for a spin. I brought along a memory card, and he attached both lenses (not at the same time) to the camera body similar to the one I owned. I wavered back and forth but ended up getting the cheaper of the two lenses. As time progressed I gave up my Nikon for my first Fuji (XT-1), and again was in the market for an additional lens to complement my kit lens and 35mm lens. Again I called upon Murphy’s Camera and asked for Tim. He mentioned a few lenses but recommended the 16mm, which I did end up buying from him. From that encounter on, w...

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography Purgatory is defined (in the Catholic Church) as a place or state of suffering inhabited by souls of sinners who are expiating their souls before going to Heaven.   Purgatory as an adjective is defined as having the quality of cleansing or purifying. Today I feel the latter definition fits me. Two of the drawings I posted this week best encapsulates those who put up a front in daily life when it comes to depression or sadness.  For most of my life, I have had many moments when I have felt like these drawings.  Masks of a strong husband, father, friend, employee, and family member.  Things are changing. Mentally I have been drowning in the darkness, but at the same time, I have been blinded by the light.  Over the past few months with help from Dr. Erin and support from friends like Mark, Steve, Tesa, Michael and especially my rock, Marcie I have moved from a dark place to what I define as my own purgatory.  Living for years in doubt, fear, anxiety, wor...

Photo by: James R Burns My first interview was with Chris Sale .  Today’s interview is with a friend of his named James R Burns.  As I have done with many of the people I have interviewed, I discovered James by accident.  I’m glad I did. James is predominantly a landscape photographer.  There are many out there, but I am drawn to James’ work for a different reason.  His videos.  YouTube is so saturated with gear talk, settings, reviews, etc. that James brings a fresh new perspective with his messages.  He talks about mood, lighting, composition, why he shoots, being selective and even shares his failures (a rarity in this world these days). James does sprinkle in information about his lens and settings he uses but with a purpose of why he is using them, not for technical reasons.  Not gear talk, but explaining his goal for a shot and what he feels is the best setting at that moment to capture his vision. James hikes to all his locations, and from what I can see, many times they ar...

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography My session this week with my doctor was a big breakthrough.  I am opening wounds and discovering the root causes of my anxiety, indecisiveness and why I have little confidence in me.  Some of this was already known to me, but the more Dr. Erin and I spoke, the more validity was given to what I suspected was the sources of my anxiety, inability to make small decisions and live with compliments. Let me start with anxiety, as I wrote about before.  Anxiety is like being hooked up to an electric fence; not enough voltage to kill but sufficient enough to keep things very uncomfortable.  There is not a constant shock, but painful pulses that seem to never end.  My anxiety is driven by the fear of the unknown, and the ability to not be in control of certain aspects of my life.  I have been doing a worry session for about 10 minutes a day.  I allow myself to worry about anything and everything that flows through my brain.  I have gotten better at doing this an...