Tested

 

Life is a series of tests, pushing us to our limits and forcing us to grow. All blessings originate from a God, yet they manifest through different circumstances, encounters, and individuals. Throughout the past six weeks, I have encountered a myriad of these tests. This is part of the reason I have not written in a while - the constant distractions that have consumed my time and focus. Balancing my mental state and warding off anxiety has consumed my attention, leaving no room to articulate my thoughts through writing.

My journey began recently when, with the advice of a medical professional, I began taking Trintellix at its lowest dose of 5mg per day. Gradually I increased to 10mg a day and now am at 20mg a day. During this time, my anxiety has lessened quite a bit, but recent events have put this medication to the test.

Our initial challenge was to carefully research vans, searching for ones that would be ideal for safely transporting our furry companions. The cramped space in our small SUVs cannot accommodate two Great Danes. After contemplating our choices, we finally found the perfect fit: a reliable 2011 Toyota Sienna minivan. Despite the enormous expense, which included the cost, insurance, and a new front axle, our vehicle now resembles our very own Mystery Machine. After removing the back seats, we lined it with plywood, foam, and a mat to create a makeshift bed. The area provided enough room for both dogs to roam comfortably around. Whether standing, sitting, or lying down, their desire remains to be in front with us still exists.

Afterwards, I entrusted my newest camera to a close friend, who would take it on an 18-day journey across Europe. It will make its return later this month, and I trust it with my life, so despite a hint of anxiety, it is not overwhelming. I wouldn't have offered it to him if I hadn't been confident, he would derive pleasure from using it and be responsible for its upkeep.

During this period, I also visited the dentist to get fitted for a mouthpiece that would ease my sleep apnea. The sleep doctor confirmed that I no longer have sleep apnea during my recent visit but halting the use of the machine I've relied on for over 20 years didn't prove successful. I relied on the comforting hum of the machine to lull me into a peaceful sleep. The doctor recommended this mouthpiece, which I am currently using, but it requires several adjustments before it reaches its full effectiveness.

I saw the cardiologist recently, and they discontinued one of my blood pressure medications. Gradually, I am weaning myself off or decreasing the amount of medication I rely on.

Out of the blue, I received a call from the company I interviewed with back in February, a pleasant surprise after months of silence. Unexpectedly, I received an email from the CCO of this company. In her message, she mentioned my name had been buzzing among her colleagues because of my interview and conveyed her eagerness to have a conversation with me. A quick Zoom call was set up, and she eagerly explained her vision of starting a process improvement area in her company. She expressed her desire for a powerful leader to emerge and take the reins in forming and managing the team. She eagerly picked my brain, asking about my personal style, creative ideas, and more. Because of some important details that still need to be resolved, we'll have to wait and see if everything works out, as she explained.

In the apartment where Gavin lives, there's a bustling household comprising his girlfriend, her mother and stepdad, two dogs, and a cat. In September, when the lease expires, the mother and stepdad will move to a new rental house. Currently, Gavin's portion of the rent amounts to $800 per month. Finding an apartment that meets his price range and allows dogs seems like an impossible task. If he does it, he will probably end up in an unfavorable area with subpar living conditions.

Marcie and I spent time in prayer and deep conversation, ultimately concluding that purchasing a second home was the right choice. We have been actively searching for a new home for the past few weeks, and we are excited to announce that we have found one and put a contract on it. Once it was accepted, they wasted no time in scheduling a home inspection. The results showed that there were significant issues with the foundation that required immediate repair.

After back-and-forth discussions, we were able to agree with the seller to lower the price, and we officially closed the transaction on July 31st. Our investments are being drained by this house, forcing us to rely on a small equity line of credit to bridge the financial gap. For a brief period, we will find ourselves in debt again. However, during this time, Gavin will rent the house from us until we have settled all the outstanding payments. Eventually, we will transfer ownership of the home to him.

We will repair the foundation immediately, ensuring a solid base for Gavin's growth and learning. Furthermore, to enhance the space, we will include cosmetic updates like new flooring, a fresh paint job, and the installation of blinds. His demeanor has undergone a drastic change. He is overflowing with gratitude and deep appreciation. In addition, he has started actively searching for a full-time job, hoping to share the financial burden with his girlfriend.

The medication has been instrumental in helping me manage my anxiety during this entire time. Marcie has repeatedly expressed her relief, saying, "I am glad you are on medication." I share the same sentiment.

Money has always been a constant source of concern for me, weighing heavily on my mind. Despite still having our 401Ks and emergency funds, this house purchase leaves us in a tight spot for a while. Once again, I face the daunting challenge of getting us out of debt and securing a legacy for Gavin. Since the day he moved out at age 18, he has been learning about the complexities and challenges of adulthood. It has taken years, but he finally grasps the message we've been trying to convey. I am just glad Marcie and I can offer our support, ensuring that his first home is a comfortable and welcoming space. Anxiety is a small price to pay for the joy it brings.

Until next time,

Tim