Cliff Dweller Trail

 

Music is and always will be my refuge. Music enhances my mood when I am happy. When I am sad, I identify with the lyrics. When I am agitated or aggravated, music calms me down.

I have had a rough couple of weeks. I spoke to Dr. Erin about that yesterday. We have been remodeling our bathroom, so my daily walking has halted because of strangers in our house. I didn’t want to leave Marcie alone. Next, I had a few sleepless nights. I took off Friday to go hiking, but because I was up at 2am, I didn’t have the energy to hit the trail, so there was another failed opportunity to be in nature. Finally, there is the major stress of my job.

I have tons of project management experience and even more process improvement experience. In fact, they hired me as a process improvement professional and my job title reflects that. However, I am not doing any process improvement in my role. Just the opposite. I am doing production work that is full of holes and obvious issues that need improving. Then there is the lack of support of my leaders and the fact that more work is getting dumped on me daily. To say my anxiety and stress level are high is an understatement.

Saturday morning, despite the rain, I headed for the woods. As I drove the country road to get to my favorite park, a song came on called Voices of Babylon by The Outfield. As the singer was singing, I heard, “We’re the victims of our own creation. Chasing rainbows that are painted black or white. Watch the struggle of our temptation. Instincts barely keeping us alive.” I then heard Points of Authority by Linkin Park. As Chester sang these lyrics, “You love the way I look at you. While taking pleasure in the awful things you put me through. You take away if I give in. My life, my pride, is broken.” This hit me hard. It summed up my current role at work and how I felt about my position. As tears rolled down my cheeks, I began questioning the next 10 years of my career and if I had made the right choice by accepting this role.

Soon John Mellencamp was blasting through my stereo. His song Mansions in Heaven kept the tears flowing as he sang, “I’m just a plain man, thoughts full of creases,
Haven’t accomplished much, but I dream of more.” Then he continued, “I don’t control much of my own life. I’m not an old man, but I’m not young anymore.”

As I discussed with Dr. Erin in session, it was obvious my balance of self-care and work was now very skewed. What once had been a good balance between both now heavily favors Humana. I told her I must get back to those things that balance me. To stand firm at work and back off taking on all the responsibility that is thrown at me.  

As I arrived in the parking area of the Cliff Dweller Trail, I was alone. My tears had dried up, and I was overlooking a small shelter surrounded by fog. The forest hung heavy with mist, a swirling sea of white obscuring the ancient tree trunks. Tendrils of fog snake through the treetops, blurring the familiar skies. A canvas of muted greens and browns surrounded me. A fine rain whispers secrets, each drop a tiny cymbal, drumming a gentle rhythm on the canopy overhead. The air, cool and sweet with the scent of damp earth and decaying leaves, carries the hushed sighs of unseen creatures, and the muffled thumps of a distant stream swollen with the recent storm. I stood amidst this hushed symphony. The scream I wrote about the other day was now silent. I knew I was where I needed to be.

My 2-mile hike was short, but it allowed me to decompress and leave many of the stresses out in the woods. I knew the reprieve would be short-lived, as Monday morning would flood me with many of the issues I have been facing for months now, but at least I had this small window of relief.

On the way home, my music playlist provided some positive messages from Stick Figure. “There’s a little old town. And it’s tucked away on an island on the sea. So far away from everything. Where time it don’t mean a thing. And time moves slow and certainly. We got no place to be. Where’s there’s love there is life. There’s a hope and a dream. This is the place for you and me.” In my mind, this ‘little old town,’ was this ancient forest I had just hiked through.

Music isn’t just a melody, it’s a potent mood-booster for your soul. Upbeat tunes can ignite a spark of joy, their rhythm tapping into your energy reserves and leaving me feeling energized and optimistic. Think of your favorite song; does it make you want to move, sing along, or simply smile? That’s the magic at work! Beyond the cheerful tunes, calming music can wash away stress like a gentle wave, its soothing melodies easing tension and whispering tranquility. It’s a mini vacation for my mind, leaving me feeling refreshed and ready to face the day with renewed perspective. So next time you’re feeling down, don’t underestimate the power of a good playlist. I let the music work its magic and watch my mood soar!

Until next time,
Tim