Skip to main content

EGD & Colonoscopy

 


On December 1st, I have two procedures being done. First is the EGD (remember Sam) and the second is my first colonoscopy. I am not excited about these.

As I age and have various medical issues, I learn that there are more and more tests that I must endure. These all take time, cost a lot of money and then there is the joy of waiting for the results of each exam.

This next exam, however, scares me. I have never been one who likes to give up control of my body. Being ‘put under’. I avoid alcohol, pain pills, and illegal drugs for this reason. There is a daily fight with demons within my head daily and I am unsure if letting my guard down (via drugs or alcohol) will weaken that defense I have built up. I don’t want my demons to escape. Have you seen an angry drunk or psychotic crackhead?

The procedure will check if Sam is gone from my previous EGD, and the colonoscopy will detect any polyps or major issues in my lower gastrointestinal tract.

If you recall with my last EGD I was told as I was waking up that “there was a spot that needs to come out. Might be cancer, so we are sending it off to get biopsied”. I sat with that news for 4 days until the nurse called and said it was nothing and to continue taking antacids until my next visit.

My recent track record has not been favorable to tests. Heart attack, EGD results, blood work including diabetes spiking, and now I have these two exams to come. I achieved better health by losing weight, getting my blood levels checked, and walking daily.

I trust my doctor, but I am scared about these exams. As mentioned, the first aspect of being put under terrifies me. Not sure what places my mind will go to while under. At night, while sleeping, I can often wake myself up if I am having nightmares. Under anesthesia, I will have lost that control. Next are the exams themselves. Active 1: What will the exams reveal? I know the prep for the colonoscopy is not fun, and actual procedure is not something I want to go through.

The medical staff, including the anesthesiologist, gastroenterologist, and nurses, are experienced professionals. But this has never happened to me.

I expect people who read this to reach out and tell me everything will be fine or okay. To offer comforting words about how routine the procedures are, and even explain their own experiences. To reiterate that the medical staff knows what they are doing. I value all of this, but as mentioned above, this situation is new to me.

Logically, I know all will be fine with the procedure. It is the experience and results that have made my anxiety soaring.

I once read “we often must consent to something we wish we did not have happen to us” from the book Interior Freedom by Jacques Phillippe. In my case, I consent to having this done. I will and have been restless as the day approaches.

Until next time,

Tim

Comments

Post a Comment

Love to get your feedback on what you read!

Popular posts from this blog

End

I don't worry about the world ending.  It has ended for me many times and always started the next morning. Until next time  Tim
Post a Comment
Read more

Mentor

  When my photography journey rekindled back in 2015 with a trip to Maine, I never knew how far I would come and how important pushing a button on a camera would be. I have come a long way, but still have so much more to learn. A mentor is described as an experienced and trusted adviser (noun) . Also, as someone who will advise or train (someone, especially a younger  colleague ) (verb). Wikipedia also states mentorship is the patronage, influence, guidance, or direction given by a mentor. A mentor is someone who teaches or gives help and advice to a less experienced and often younger person.  Since I have gotten more serious about my photography, I have been looking for a mentor that fits these categories listed above. Seeking guidance, I reached out to a handful of “professional” photographers to inquire about mentorship. I received no response from one person, another person casually mentioned that they rarely mentor, and a third person kindly explained that they ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Somewhere I Belong

  Music is so powerful. It is an integral part of my life. It often helps me express my feelings that I cannot do otherwise in any form. Yesterday this happened to me once again. I drove to Curby, Indiana for my massage. It is a nice smooth drive west on interstate 64 to exit 92. With the temperature in the upper 70s and the sun shining brightly, I had all four windows down and my sunroof open. Cruising at 78mph, my playlist on shuffle and the radio turned up. We have all done this. I arrived at my massage location and as it begun, my massage therapist referenced my latest post tiled 3am . She, however, had a different take on it. She mentioned that she had read waking up at 3am consistently was because of anxiety or anger, not creativity. The CALM app states, “ The mind has a funny way of kicking into overdrive just when you need rest the most. Stress and anxiety can activate your body’s “fight or flight” response, making it hard to stay asleep . ” For me, waking up at 3am h...
Post a Comment
Read more