Ruminator

  This past week Dr. Erin and I discussed many things. She did, however spring a new term on me. Social Attribution Error. It is something I suffer from, without knowing the term and we dove a little deeper into it and what I could do to reverse it. Social Attribution Error has many aspects but a few I want to point out. Explaining behavior : It's the process of trying to understand why someone acted a certain way by assigning a cause to their behavior.  Internal vs. external attribution : You can attribute behavior to internal factors (like personality traits) or external factors (like situational circumstances). With a bit of conversation Erin and I discussed my strong and irrational internal attribution and how I always see myself as not good enough. Not a good enough father, husband, friend, employee, relative, writer, photographer, etc. Much of this started in my childhood when my mother would compare me to my classmates, friends and even cousins. It

  I recently listened to a song by one of my favorite artist’s name John Mellencamp . The song is called Walk Tall . As I listened to the lyrics, I could not help reflecting on the world around me. John states: The simple minded and the uninformed Can be easily led astray And those that cannot connect the dots Hey, look the other way People believe what they wanna believe When it makes no sense at all… This is a recurring sight for me, encountered daily on social media, in conversations, on the news, and most notably in politics. People readily accept Facebook, MSNBC, CNN, or even their neighbor’s post on any platform as the ultimate truth. Very few people bother to delve into the facts, and it’s even worse how furious they get when faced with differing opinions. A point proven recently with a post I saw on Facebook. Someone stated, “this proves people will argue about anything”. There was a picture of a plastic cup of water that was ¾ full. The caption below said a full g

  I recently had conversations with two people I know that had experienced a sudden rash of acute anxiety. One was medication related, the other was situational. Both stated that they now had a better understanding of what I have been dealing with. With the recent changes to my medication, Although I still feel anxiety, it no longer takes control of my emotions like it did in the past. However, I know acutely that it still lurks on the fringes, patiently awaiting its chance to pounce on me. During my recent visit to Dr. Erin, she assigned me an exercise where I had to jot down three things each day that I felt I excelled at. This is proving to be difficult for me. The parameters are straightforward and easy to understand. “Anything I do well that day,” she said. As I continued with this exercise, I began thinking of a song by Linkin Par called Nobody’s Listening. I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress Handful of anger held in my chest And everything left’s a waste of

A heavy weight, a suffocating shroud, Anxiety's grip, relentless and proud. A mind adrift, in stormy seas, Haunted by shadows, whispering trees. Heart pounds like thunder, a restless beat, Thoughts race like wildfire, a frenzied retreat. A prisoner of doubt, a captive of fear, Lost in a labyrinth, with no hope near. Yet, in the darkness, a glimmer of light, A fragile spark, a flicker of might. A chance to break free, to find a new way, To face the storm and claim a brighter day. Until next time, Tim