Ruminator

Photo by: Tim Bindner As of today, we have 41 of my photos printed, framed, and hung in our house. The sizes vary from one large 16×24 down to a few small 5×7 prints. Most, however, are in the 8×10 range. Our recent project comprised four 8×10’s from our trip to Door County, Wisconsin and six 11×14 prints from our trip to Nova Scotia, Canada. Marcie chose each of these, and though some might not have been the one’s I would have chosen, I am still humbled to see my creations on our walls. My therapist is helping me accept not only compliments for my work but also helping me struggle to admit my work is good. As a photographer I strive to improve, and thus in doing so I see flaws in every picture I take. It is not my attempt to discredit my work, but ways to help me improve. I also have this critical eye when I see others work, but it is more predominant in my own creations. What my eye sees and ultimately how each photo turns out is often very different. Slight c...

Photo by: Tim Bindner October 1 & 2, 2022–Day 6 & 7 Not too many sites were seen on our last two days in Nova Scotia. Reality was setting in. We would be back home soon. On Saturday we woke up, had breakfast, said goodbye to Kermit (6-week-old golden retriever), loaded up the car, turned in the keys and began the drive east on Highway 1. Our destination was The Fourth Lock . This was a small bed-and-breakfast with a restaurant attached. Our drive took us through small towns like Bear River, Annapolis Royal, and Bridgetown. We then merged onto Highway 101, heading toward Fall River. Our B&B was not opened when we arrived, but the restaurant staff called the owner, then got us the code to get in and he showed us our room. Small room with a bed only 12 inches off the floor, no a/c, small refrigerator with glass bottles of water inside, and a very nice washroom and shower. We waited around until 4pm, then headed downstairs for dinner. After eating, we walked back up to the room...

September 30, 2022 Today, we had a bit of a drive and only one thing planned, but the result was Marcie’s favorite part of the trip. Digby Neck is a peninsula that begins in Digby and runs south down to Brier Island. It is similar in shape to Baja off California, but not nearly as long. St. Mary’s Bay lies between Digby Neck and the mainland of Nova Scotia, and the Bay of Fundy lies on the other side between Nova Scotia and the United States and Canada. Our day began after breakfast when we stopped and filled up our tanks, grabbed sandwiches for lunch at the local grocery store, then waited for Balser’s PhaaChoice to open. We were told to get some Meclizine to prevent any sea sickness for our upcoming adventure. We were instructed to take these 30 minutes before boarding, so we hopped in the car and headed down route 217 towards our first ferry crossing. About 30 minutes later, we arrived at the Tiverton East Ferry, where we waited in line for only a few minutes before boarding. The f...

Day 5. September 29, 2022. Today would be a bit of a longer day of travel, but we saw sights that surprised me. I guess I now know why Nova Scotia means New Scotland. The morning began as normal, but this time packing up our stuff to head to the next location. We had a Merci chocolate bar, and our receipt was left for us by our host. Our first stop was breakfast. We heard about a place that served breakfast, so we backtracked to Portside Lounge and I had the best pumpkin spice French toast I have ever eaten. Marcie got the same but couldn’t finish her portion, so extra for me. Our first destination was Cape Forchu Light House . It is a lighthouse like no other. The light house sat high on a rocky hill and is at the bottom of Nova Scotia. I remember looking out at sea and thinking that if a boat went straight, it would not hit land until the Bahamas. There was a visitor center (closed) and walking paths around the place. There was even a pole with destination markers on it. Everywhere ...

Day 4. September 28, 2022. I, as usual, woke up early and sat in the living room of the cottage, watching the deer walk around the yard and eat. There were mothers and babies alike. Seven in total. I wrote in my journal and waited for Marcie to wake up. After breakfast at the cottage, we drove north toward Sandy Point Light House . Continuing north, we headed to an island called Locke Port. There we walked some trails through dense woods that again seemed out of place, only feet from the ocean. There was no one around and we could walk on the large rocky beach, take in the splashing waves, and see a small lighthouse off in the distance. After spending time on the trail, we headed back to the car and wandered behind a breakwater wall to see a crescent-shaped beach called Col Locke’s Beach . It was a small unassuming beach, but had white sand, shells, and seaweed. As we soaked up the breezes and salty air, we both decided it was time to eat. Across the bay appeared to be a small place to...

Day 3. September 27, 2022. Marcie and I woke up, showered, got dressed, lugged our suitcases downstairs to the car, left the room key in the room and began our drive to Shelburne. We drove north a bit to Bridgewater and ate at Fancy Pants Café . After consuming a good old fashion breakfast, we drove to Port Medway Lighthouse . The day called for fog, with partly sunny around noon and lasting for the rest of the day. Our drive and visit to Port Medway were in the fog, and I loved it. My eyes scanned the wharf, the boats, the water, and even the anglers on the dock. I didn’t know what to shoot, so I shot it all. Looking back, I think my favorite picture of the entire trip came from here. While walking along the pier, I spoke to an angler. He told me he was 69 years old and had been fishing for a few hours that morning for mackerel, but only had one catch. He told me, “ Usually a bunch of seals up here. Sign of what to expect today. No fish, no seals. ” There were about 8 boats tied up to...

Today I want to talk about trauma. Trauma goes in various forms. There is physical, spiritual, and even emotional trauma. These also fall into three types of traumas: being Acute, chronic, or Complex . Acute trauma results from a single incident. Chronic trauma is repeated and prolonged, such as domestic violence or abuse. Complex trauma is exposure to varied and multiple traumatic events, often of an invasive, interpersonal nature. I have documented in these posts the trauma I have experienced in the past many times. I have even had sought counseling to work through these. For me, the lasting effects might never go away. What do these effects look like for me? At any moment, I assume the worst possible thing will happen. This is called Catastrophizing . Why does this happen? It is because something traumatic happened to me and my brain stays on high alert to keep and/or prepare for something happening again.   Next, I do a bit of mind reading or trying to predict what others aroun...

The end of day one had us driving toward our first destination of Lunenburg, Nova Scotia . Each place we stayed two nights and spent the time between traveling ‘back the way we came’ and moving forward toward our next destination. If you look on a map, we flew into Halifax, NS then headed east and south. Our goal was to travel in a big loop all the way south of the peninsula, then return to Halifax for our departing flight. We pulled into the small town of Lunenburg a bit before sunset. I went into the very busy restaurant, registered for our room, and headed upstairs with our luggage to room #1. Our first two nights in Nova Scotia would be at Salt Shaker Inn & Deli . We unpacked some stuff, then made a beeline for the boardwalk to catch the last of the daylight. This quaint little town was busy with tourists. There were people eating a few feet below our window on a deck, the gulls were flying around making noise, crows were joining in as well, and we could hear cars driving up an...

Day one of our trip was not super exciting other than the anticipation of being on vacation. There was also the mystery of being out of the country for the first time and seeing a new place. Most of the day was boring until the end. Sunday September 25 th, I awoke earlier than normal. Anticipation of the vacation to Nova Scotia, Canada filled my head throughout the night. Marcie and I had a 7:30am flight and a 30+ minute drive to the airport. We got up, showered, dressed, ate, gathered the unpacked stuff, and headed to the airport. We checked two bags, got our boarding passes, and headed through TSA before a brief wait to board the plane. We loaded the plane, and wheels up at 7:33am. A short flight to Philadelphia with a touchdown at 9:58am. In Philadelphia we went through mini-Customs, had to show passports upon boarding and wear a mask on the plane. When we landed in Canada, we waited in line to go through customs. Had to scan passports, get our pictures taken, and then answer ques...

Today is Monday September 27 th , 2022. I am writing this only a few days before my first real trip outside my country of the United States of America. I am excited, anxious, and nervous. As you read this, I am now back home. I decided not to publish this until my return home from my destination. I never know who reads these and who might visit my empty house. Sunday the 25 th of September, Marcie and I are boarding a plane to head to Nova Scotia, Canada. I was in Canada once in my mid-twenties for about 10 minutes. My buddy and I were visiting someone in Jackson, Michigan and drove over to Canada to say we had been there. It was pre-911 and there was no checkpoint, only a sign on the road saying welcome to Canada. This time we I will spend one week traveling the southern part of Nova Scotia. There is some solace in my mind knowing that I won’t be worried about getting back home to Kota, but sadness as I think about him daily. I will have nervousness about flying and going through cus...