Ruminator

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography With the holidays in full swing, my anxiety has been and will be tested.  I will survive but this year I hope to control my stress and anxiety. Mental health is now at the forefront of the news these days and I feel it is great.  People are less scared to mention they have struggles and more importantly seek help.  It is okay to not be okay. As a person who deeply respects the military and enjoys watching military movies and documentaries, I feel I can best describe my person bought with anxiety using military terms.  First, there is PEACETIME.  During this time things are going well, anxiety is extremely rare or non-existent.  Next is SKIRMISH.  This for me is when anxiety lasts minutes, moments or as long as a day or so.  The next level for me is a CIVIL WAR.  This is when anxiety can last days, weeks and even a few months.  Finally, it is a WORLD WAR.  This is when anxiety is constant.  Wake up with it, go to bed with it.  There is a constant fight

This morning’s hike provided me an opportunity to be introspective.   There was a recent tragedy in our small town that impacted my son and as a result, me. One of Gavin’s classmates was killed in a car wreck early this past Sunday morning.  As adults, we have extreme difficulty dealing with death.  As a 15-year-old, learning of another 15 years old’s death, I can only imagine what is going through my son’s brain. The details of what happened, where, why, etc. are not important.  What is, is the fact that life ended way too early.  The others involved have to live with the results of what happened as three survived, one didn’t. We went as a family to the viewing yesterday and I was completely blown away by the support.  The town I live in has less than 1000 residents, but I swear it felt like all 1000 were there.  There was a line around the funeral parlor and out the door.  For once I saw a group of people come together for a cause.  No fighting over politics, no debates over religion

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography “ Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better .”  This quote from Albert Einstein I think sums up where I am in my life. Sunday I went on a hike at O’Bannon Woods State Park with my friend Kristin.  We went on the Ohio River Bluff trail, which is one I have wanted to do for a while now.  It did not disappoint. The road toward the parking lot was long and twisty.  It is a one-lane road, which was made even narrower by the recent deposit of sticks, limbs, and leaves left by the recent ice storm.  As I descended deeper in the park I stopped to admire 5 large deer blocking my path and staring directly at me. It was a brief moment that our stares locked, but reminded me I was in their home. Arriving at the parking lot, we unloaded, grabbed the gear and headed off.  To the left was mighty Ohio hidden is a cloak of fog and to the right was a long stretch of an overhanging cliff that I would eventually be on top of.  We moved our way

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography Since my last post, there has been a lot of change in my life.  Through it, I can test not only my new medicine but my will. Recently my wife lost her job due to budget cuts and was given 60 days to find another role.  Gladly she has done so.  The thought of losing 50% of our income was a frightening aspect, but for now, it will not happen. This past weekend my wife and I shared some time that I truly enjoyed.  First, we had pizza night on Friday (a weekly occurrence).  Sometimes we are with others, but this week we were alone.  Saturday we attended a bonfire at a local winery.  This time we were not alone.  Being outdoors before sunset and after, listening to music and smelling the fire was very peaceful and relaxing.  Sunday started with a long hike at O’Bannon Woods State Park.  This time it was just Marcie, my friend Kristen and me. Our adventure began with a long drive down a twisty narrow road called Cold Friday Road.  This road is paved (mostly)