Ruminator

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography My recent blog post (Tax on Life) sent a few of my friends and readers into a bit of panic mode.  I was offered suggestions on what I should do and suggestions on new things I need to add to my life as well as reading material to help me. First I want to point out that I utilize my blog as a form of release and a way to work out my emotions/feelings/thoughts on virtual paper.  I internalize most of my thoughts and feelings but found this as a fairly safe outlet to release many of those thoughts and feelings.  Recently the posts tend to trend toward the negative side, but honestly, I think it is natural (or at least for me) to enjoy the good times in life as expected and not post on them very often.  If I have a great day, I tend to enjoy it and except it and feel happy about it.  Those times I can deal with.  It is the mental, physical and emotional stresses of my life that need the most energy and in my case worked out via this blog.  A friend called ...

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography Today is the first day of summer. For 99 percent of the people, this is a time that they most love and enjoy. For me, it starts four months of not only being uncomfortable but in some cases being in pain.   I am sensitive to the sun and the heat.  The reactions are painful to me.  As I prepare for the next few months and think about the potential displeasure that I may go through because of the heat and I have to get my mind right and focus on the things that I enjoy.  I recently lost the ability to go hiking due to a tick disease so I must focus my mind on other things that help me get through my daily life. When faced with adversity or negative situations, how those instances affect me and how I interpret them is the path that controls my life.  Those negative situations and people for that matter are what I think of as a tax.  The tax I pay in life.  If it is something I can overcome and learn from, then the better off I will be.  I struggle with tr...

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography I have come to a bit of a crossroads in my life and not sure which path to take.  In the early years of my life, I was an open book.  I shared my thoughts and feelings and as a result, got hurt.  I am now looking at my life and deciding again if I want to let people in or continue to build walls.  Do I take the left path or right? Through life experiences, job interactions I have had, and people I have met, I have become jaded to the world.  I’d rather be alone than letting someone see the parts of me that I can’t bear taking out of hiding.  I was not always like this, as mentioned above.  I use to be eager to meet people and wasn’t afraid of what might happen if I open up to people too soon.  That has changed.  Part of it has come from the ever-presence of social media, but it is not solely to blame.  We all grow up thinking our generation was the best and the ones following ours do not have the same values, ethics or morals we did.  And we are right....

Photo by: Tim Bindner Photography I have not written in a while due to an illness caused by an activity I love.  I am being treated for tick disease. On the weekend of Memorial Day, I went hiking as mentioned in the previous blog.  Almost instantly my pants were covered with ticks.  These ranged from the small deer ticks, the ones with the yellowbacks, and everything in between.  I pulled more off of me when I returned home.  My symptoms didn’t start until 8 days later. As one who has experience asthma attacks had broken bones and even suffered from kidney stones, this latest battle was not something I was prepared for.  I had many symptoms of the flu but knew that this was different.  My pain began on a Sunday when my head felt on fire.  It was quickly followed up by fever, cold chills, severe headache, and neck pain.  I also began to feel weak.  I got an appointment on Wednesday to see the physician’s assistant (my doc was booked).  When I arrived in the room I began sweating, a...