Ruminator

  Friday’s session with Erin was very helpful and informative. It also helped me understand one of my biggest mental issues. I have a plan now on how to lessen or overcome it. After discussing my issue with Erin, she stated to me that consciously or unconsciously, my mother treated me in a passive-aggressive way by comparing me to my friends, family and even classmates. Her intention, I am sure, was to highlight their success and the good things they were doing or have done, but internally I got the message that I was not good enough. Whether it was hearing about my cousins’ adorable children, the impressive achievements of my high school classmates, or even updates about mutual acquaintances, she always seemed to know everything. The message within me remained consistent. My effort was not up to par, at least in her mind. Decades of hearing these messages have led me to feeling inadequate and insecure. Like most things in life, I seek validation. Every time I get rejected for a job;

  I wanted to provide you with a quick mentor update. I finally found someone who has already helped me grow as a photographer. A few weeks ago, Mark contacted me and said he “felt bad” about turning me down about mentoring my work. He said he will look at 2-3 images a week but had stipulations and disclaimers about what he liked and didn’t. As an example, he mentioned he does not like black and white nature work. I continued to explore options for mentors that could help me grow when I remembered a friend who not only received a photography degree from the University of Louisville, but also used to teach photography classes. I reached out to her last week and asked if she would take me on as a mentee and review my work. I told her I was looking for someone to provide simple feedback on my photographs. My goal is not to have a business, sell my work, or have the goal of ‘likes’. I am simply trying to improve and need feedback (both good and bad) to do so. Withing the first few

  I just ordered a canvas copy of one of my recent photos. I am excited to see the finished product, and even more excited to see it displayed in my home. Over the years, I have taken thousands of photographs. Many were average to below average, some descent, and a rare few I would classify as good. The one shown above would fall into that later category. Receiving a gift card recently I put it to good use deciding to print a large 24x36 print of one of my photographs. The decision I wrestled with was a metal print or canvas. Ultimately, because of the cost, I went with canvas. So why this photograph instead of countless others? Well, simply the feeling and experience I had in taking it. It was a beautiful fall evening on October 17, 2023. I was out amongst the various farm equipment, listening to the low hum as they passed by. There was a cool breeze blowing, and I was at peace. Out doing what I love. This shot I took after a combine had passed me, then disappeared into the